Prepping for a second birth

So I didn’t get to have the natural birth I wanted to have with my first and am still struggling to live with that. But I now know that I cannot have an epidural again as my concern for having it was the fentanyl being in my system and now knowing how I react to it I won’t be doing that again. Not a negative reaction but I don’t need to encourage any potential issues from forming. How do I prep for the main portion of labour from 4-10cm? I found once my waters were manually broken it became extremely painful suddenly to the point that I could barely force myself to sit still when the epidural was placed. (Super painful to sit still during a 60 second contraction😐🥲). I desperately want to have a natural birth with my second when we do decide to have our next kid and going forward do not want to involve interventions unless required to. Did your partners stay in the room during the labour when it got to the painful parts or did they leave the room? Because I want a natural birth going forward for all our kids he isn’t sure he even wants to be in the room during labour which is heartbreaking. Any advice for prepping for a natural birth is welcome and if you know how to mansplain this to a guy please let me know because he is not understanding why I regret the epidural so much with our first.

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My partner stayed in the room. That was a non negotiable. We hired a doula to help prepare, and I watched a lot of hypno birthing breathing techniques (those helped the most). I got through most of my contractions by “riding the wave”, I would mentally prepare myself for the 10 second peak of each contraction telling myself that I could handle 10 seconds of discomfort

@Kiarra I’ll look into the hypno birthing stuff for sure! I was surprised when my partner said he may not want to even be in the room because he’s helped deliver dozens of animals but can’t seem to handle helping me with labour🤦🏼‍♀️ definitely hiring a midwife/doula for the next one too

I had a kinda natural birth and 10/10 would recommend. I did have IV meds towards the end but that was after they had to give me pitocin. Make sure if you need pitocin they start off very slow because it does make it more painful. Id recommend partner + one in the room. My partner and friend spent hours shoving their thumbs into my back to help relieve the pain. Id recommend bringing tennis balls instead. I was up and walking within twenty minutes and I only pushed for about ten minutes. And for me the pushing felt great compared to contractions. Dont be afraid to say no to nurses and doctors. make sure they know what you want!

I teach a free hypnobirthing class every month. I highly recommend and can speak from personal experience having had an unmedicated birth. Next class is September 24th at 5pm PST. DM if you’re interested

What I heard before giving birth made a world of difference during it. It was -“ it’s all a mental game” meaning- if you believe you can get through it. You can. I did a lot of labor meditation and prep for when it could have gotten to be “too much”. My doula really helped because my baby was in the wrong position (sideways) and pushing on my spine. So it wasn’t just the contractions. It was all the time pain 🤣… but she and my husband knew my birth plan and what I wanted and I told them HOW to encourage me. And I had a latter plan for pain management. Basically mental prep is the best kind of prep. Have things you can do when it gets hard. Like a mantra. Mine was “it’s just a wave. This will pass” and “with every pain I get closer to meeting my baby” and I had a playlist and visual aids and notes to myself and notes from others to encourage me. I went into this mind space I’ve never been in and it was incredible to see what my mind and body could do. Hope this helps!