I cheated, husband hit me, marriage might be over
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You need to leave that marriage. No one should be slapped or hit or spit on in a marriage. I don’t care what the abuser’s reason is, putting his hands on you is wrong. I don’t like that Bob is moving in on you while you’re vulnerable, but it’s very obvious to him and your other coworkers that your husband is abusive. It doesn’t seem like you believe it because you’ve made excuses for his behavior and you’re saying you don’t want to lose him. He will cause you to lose your job and that will cut off any financial independence you need to leave him. This is not good behavior for your child to witness. It’s just not safe. You deserve safety and the freedom to go to work without your husband going there just because you didn’t text him that you had reached work. He sounds controlling.
@Erin couldn’t have said it better 👏
Don’t make excuses for him, violence is not normal behaviour and he does not have a right to put his hands on you no matter what!! You should leave, that is an abusive relationship
@Erin I just feel like its not really abuse to me bc it only during arguments & not all the time & he's not hitting me except for this previous time. My mother was abused everyday very badly to the point where sometimes I couldn't even recognize her. What she went through & what I'm going through is different. It feels unfair to call what I'm experiencing abuse when she went through she went through.
All of the above, you need to stay safe for you and your kid(s). Run and never evere look back! This is 100% abuse that is escalating Abuse is not always the same in marriages/relationships
...not abuse to you? This is literally what abuse is. He was abusing you long before this situation. Why wouldn't you want to lose your abuser? It's time to get out. There's nothing worth saving with this abusive piece of garbage you married.
Coming from someone who lived this life. A push turns to a shove. Which turns into pinning against the wall, which turns into hitting, choking etc. it WILL only get worse. I excused my ex’s behavior just like you are doing…until he tried to kill me in front of my 3 yr old son. Thank god I got out and found safety. Please. Leave. This IS abuse. Anything physical in any way is abuse. Just because he’s upset does not give him a right to touch you. He will always apologize. Narcissists do that. But chances of it getting better rather than worse are pretty slim.
Wow I agree with Erin 100% . I know it’s easier said than done but you should look into leaving. Although you don’t feel like it’s abuse because it’s “just” during arguments it definitely is.. no matter if it’s 1 or all of the time. Just because your mom had it worse than you doesn’t mean you don’t have it bad also. Think about yourself and your 5 year old, you don’t want your five year old to grow up being a witness to this abuse and him being negatively affected by it emotionally or growing up and thinking it’s okay to hit women during arguments. I’m sorry you are going through this!
I went through that. He’s been mentally physically and emotionally abusing you. And you leaned towards someone who protected you. Leave and never look back.. it’ll hurt, but if you go back it can get worse
don’t compare your story to your moms, just because you feel she had it worse, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to belittle your own experiences. abuse is abuse no matter the context. you say you don’t want to lose your husband, but is the life you’re living really what you want? you deserve better, and your kids will end up seeing you get hurt and i don’t think you want that.
No, this is definitely 100% ABUSE. Leave him. If you were truly fulfilled in your marriage, you wouldn’t have cheated either but for him to put hands on you AT ALL like that before & after the cheating, there is no excuse. And if you can’t leave for the sake of your own well-being, leave him for the sake of your child’s well-being.
This is abuse. Any violence or abuse. It’s so hard to see because you love him and feel guilty, but he does not actually love you if he is shoving and slapping you. Maybe spend some time reading about emotional abuse online.. I’ve had to leave an abusive relationship, the hardest thing I will ever have to do.. bc it didn’t feel like it was actual abuse. But once I was out and had a protective order, I was so relieved. Abuse is part of your trauma / history bc it happens to your mom and you internalized this pain at a young age. This is a chance to break the cycle so that your child doesn’t have to see you being hurt and manipulated. You deserve to feel and BE SAFE, you don’t deserve to be hit, even if you did cheat. Many men find out about infidelity and would still never harm their partner. Bc it is wrong. More wrong than cheating.
That’s abuse no matter what !!!!! No matter when how or what he put his hands on you physically hurt you stop trying to down play it like it’s not because if you stay eventually he’s gunna be hitting you EVERYDAY sooooo I would leave him soon
No one going to say it? This man will kill you. And he will blame you for it. The most dangerous time for a woman leaving an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave, so you need to do it discreetly. Reach out to domestic abuse charities/organisations, reach out to only one or two VERY trusted individuals in your life with an exit plan and I would also start compiling an "if I turn up dead" folder. Include your passwords, screenshots of conversations with him, proof of you trying to leave, give this to one person you trust more than anyone in the world. This sounds harsh, but I mean to scare you. You should be scared. Please get out of this situation ASAP!
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Whether you want to believe it or not you are being abused. Hopefully you realise and leave before it escalates..because it will.
This is abuse! It’s abuse right from the him shoving, pushing and gripping you tight and now it has escalated and will keep escalating unfortunately. It’s still abuse even if you cheated, even if it’s an argument it doesn’t give him any right to lay his hands on you - he could get arrested if you’d have called the police! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and even more sorry he’s made you feel this is acceptable during an argument. Would it be right for you to do this to him just because you’re arguing? If not then why is it okay for him? What would you say if your daughter told you her partner was doing this? Please leave asap and seek support from a refuge or friends and family as I worry for your safety but please do not tolerate this - you deserve so much better!!
Abuse is abuse despite everyone’s experiences being different. I’m sorry to hear about what your mom went through. It’s unfair and no one should ever go through any sort of abuse. Abuse doesn’t just happen during arguments. There’s verbal and emotional abuse as well as the physical abuse you’re enduring. Please seek some help somewhere, there are women’s shelters and organizations you can turn to. It is hard at first, but it’ll be clear over time that he abused you and that you always deserved better. I’ve been there, I know it’s hard, but once I was out of the relationship I started to see things differently and moved on.
Sweetheart, even if your mom went through abuse which was awful x100 and you went through abuse which is awful x20 it is still abuse. You still need to understand that it’s wrong. You must have a standard of 0 abuse allowed or else you put your life and your children’s lives in danger. I’m married to a man who has a temper and gets so angry his body shakes. but he has never ever once shoved me, grabbed me, or touched me in a way that is not gentle. And he never will. He takes his anger away from the argument and calms down before he talks to me. More so, that is what I expect from him— it is not extraordinary it is what’s normal in a healthy relationship. Women all over the world are in healthy relationships where they don’t get physically hurt like this and would never expect to. You are in an abusive relationship. I hope one day you can see that and get help. Much love.
Listen to @Ciara and @Amber… this man will kill you. Please take care of yourself — leave as soon as you can.
Girl, you are NOT in the wrong! That marriage was already over before BOB got in the picture. You better initiate that divorce so you can leave with your life! Your husband is a monster!
Even before the kiss, this man is abusive, why do you want to stay married to him?! What a horrible arsehole!
If he was shoving u to the ground before you even kissed the other man that should tell u everything u need to know, cheating is not okay but abuse is NEVER okay. If he was acting this way putting his hands on you before you even did anything it’s definitely a red flag