in November 2024 Babies 🇺🇸

AITAH for not wanting my husband in the delivery room?

My husband hasn’t been to any of my appointments or ultrasounds, except the initial appointment to confirm my pregnancy. Even then, he didn’t want to be there and was on his phone throughout the ultrasound. After that, I decided not to include him in any of my appointments but would give him updates on what the doctor said. I noticed he never asks about my appointments, how I am doing, or how the baby is doing, so I stopped giving him updates. Even for the gender reveal party, he didn’t want to be a part of it. I told him I am having a baby shower, and his response was, “It’s not important,” and that I cannot have it in our backyard because “my people killed his grass when I had the gender reveal party.” When I am feeling sick, vomiting, or in pain, this man shows no concern. I am going through this pregnancy all by myself, emotionally and physically. Am I overreacting? I don’t want him in the delivery room with me. He’s never shown that he cares or held my hand throughout my pregnancy. What is he going to do in the delivery room? I really want my mom in there with me. Will I be wrong for this?

Show your support

I would have your mom in there with you. If he doesn’t want to be involved or concerned then that’s no concern of yours. Get your baby here safe and sound.

NTA

Definitely not the Ah. He is. Have your mom there and keep him out.

It’s best to not have him there he hasn’t shown any support throughout the entire pregnancy it probably won’t be different in the delivery room.

You aren’t wrong but if he’s acting this way during pregnancy how do you think he will act when the baby gets here? Realistically don’t keep him from being in the delivery room unless you’re ready to divorce him cause there’s no going back after that and he will probably give you hell for it for the rest of your marriage he doesn’t care about you or the baby and it’s best you have your child get the support you need and leave before it escalates.

I’m in a similar situation. Feel free to DM me if you wanna talk

You should absolutely have your mom in there. This is going to be a time when you *DO NOT* need to be stressing about him being an ass. I have a feeling parenthood will be exactly the same as your pregnancy. He is showing you who he is- believe him. You deserve better.

I feel sick for you just reading this post. You deserve more. Please don’t accept that kind of treatment. Either he wants to be a husband to you or he doesn’t, and if he doesn’t there’s no amount of sticking it out that will ever change his mind. Personally, I would be moving out and going to stay with mom, and tell him he can be involved if he wants but you need to see him make an effort. If he changes his tune, great! If not, then at least you know and can move on.

Not the asshole!

You’re not the asshole. Birth is just as much about you as it is the baby. It seems to me he doesn’t care to be involved or emotionally present when it comes to you or this baby. You need people around you that will be strong for you emotionally. People that you will feel supported by. If they’re not going to do that or if they’re going to cause you more stress or be unhelpful they shouldn’t be there in my opinion. Pregnancy is considered one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life and I believe it is but I also think the actual birth must be a lot more vulnerable. Protect your space and protect your peace. My baby daddy has been acting similar. I am not married or even w him anymore bc he cheated but I said he could be in the L&D waiting room and come meet the baby later after the birth is done but that’s the most I’d allow him around. Personally these are my boundaries. You’re allowed to have your own. You are not the asshole here.