4th degree tear
Hello everybody, I am 6.5 months postpartum and I had a fourth-degree tear with my first birth. I was recommended for the future to do a C-section and I’ve heard that sometimes people do try a vaginal birth and then have minimal tearing for their second birth or have no tearing at all. I just don’t know if I would be able to live with myself if I had another fourth-degree tear. I did heal pretty well without symptoms of major incontinence. Still working on intimacy. Just wondering how you guys are thinking about everything and how you guys are doing and how you might’ve decided on what you will do for your next birth.
I had a pretty traumatic experience with my OB/GYN team being very mean to me during my birth. I don’t even know why, and I felt so disrespected, and they did not want me to make autonomous decisions during my birth, even though I had a very healthy pregnancy and a very healthy daughter. I am still healing from the trauma of it.
I do believe that my tear occurred because I felt very uncomfortable and ended up just pushing on my back and I pushed really really hard to just be done with it ASAP because I felt so traumatized and nervous and unprotected. I was just not even able to be vulnerable and comfortable during the birth of my daughter.
Anyways, I have a lot on my mind clearly. I was just wondering how you guys are mainly getting through the trauma of a fourth-degree laceration and how you might be deciding about your next birth and how you’ll go about it
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I am so sorry :( once you get into pelvic floor therapy they really do help a lot. Please let us know when you get approved to go!!! I have the same feelings about being nervous about my next pregnancy too, and also am upset that my first birth led to such a bad outcome like this. I was not being guided properly by the medical team and I pushed too hard and the environment was too hostile. No warm compress… more could have been done to help me prevent this. I wish we had better guidance… :( How much did your baby weigh? Also I feel the same about caring for baby alone because my husband works a ton I am so sorry about your husbands back surgery
Honestly girl I would love to connect because we are in a similar season and I found this group today because I need someone to talk to about this. I’m not even pregnant again and I’m already concerned for my next birth plan because for some reason it’s really important for me to do it vaginally. I didn’t understand how to slow down and my OB just showed up before I pushed again really hard after a nurse had me feel my babies head. I’m 5 months postpartum and still haven’t had sex. I had been delayed in my pelvic floor therpay due to insurance issues. In addition to that I have been caring for my baby boy basically solo because my husband had back surgery with lots of complications this year. I just am upset that this happened on my first birth and frustrated it affects every delivery I ever have? I was supposed to be with a midwife originally. And I was so ignorant of all the hard work I need to put into it daily for keep my pelvic floor strong and relaxed.