What would you do?

I'm pretty particular about car seat safety and I'm hoping to to stay rear facing as long as possible (at least until my boy outgrows his erf seat at 23kg, which definitely won't be for a while as he's almost 2 years old and only weighs about 12kg) My partner on the other hand thinks it's a bit silly to keep rear facing after about 2 or 3 but he knows I'm not budging on it and since he wasn't the one who paid for the seat, he doesn't get a say😂 but anyway that's why I don't have anyone to ask because he doesn't see the issue at all: I am friends with another mum who's got a 6 year old and a 2 year old. We have been spending more time together and she has offered to pick us up from our house to go to soft play or bring me shopping to make it easier for me etc as I don't drive and we live 20 min walk from shops though I am happy to walk and have been doing so for the last 2 years Problem is, she sees 0 issues with the way she uses the car seats. Her 2 year old is front facing, usually wearing a puffy jacket and the straps under her armpits instead of on the shoulders, and her 6 year old is in a high back booster. So when she came to pick us up, my 2 year old boy had go in the high back booster which he was absolutely way too small for obviously. I took the lift and now have to keep making excuses as to why we're fine to walk etc and honestly it's making me almost need to avoid her because I know bringin up this issue will cause tension to our friendship as she already feels like a bad mum and is really struggling with her mental health. But I am concerned and really finding it hard to know how to approach it without upsetting her or making her feel bad about her mothering. This would have been a lot easier to discuss prior to knowing her properly and her struggles but I do worry about her kids and also my own if we ever have to go somewhere with her again

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I personally think that if you were to talk to her about any of it, only talk to her about your concerns regarding your kid. Don't bring up your issue with her kids because that's really not your business or place to do so. It's very valid for you to tell her your child isn't old enough/doesn't weigh enough for the booster and don't feel comfortable with your child not in the car seat you feel comfortable with.

Could you provide your own seat for your child to use in her car? And explain your child is too small for the booster and you would prefer they use their own seat?

I agree with other comments, you can talk to her about concerns facing your LO but I wouldn't mention anything about her children as that's her business and it doesn't sound like your close enough to express concern without causing offense.

@Bethany her car is too small for our seat 😕

Is she not willing to take out the high back booster to put your kids seat in? Your child's safety in the car is more important than anything else. I'd just say that that seat won't work for him cause he's too young. In some states it's not even legal for a 2 year old to be in a high back booster. Is it possible she just doesn't know much about car seats.

I am sorry, but my kids' safety comes first, no matter the circumstances. I would definitely tell her it's not safe for your kid to be in a booster seat, either take your own car seat or walk. And its not safe for under 4 to be front facing purely because with even a small break (no accidents) it can break their neck.