I need some advice/help

So i am going through a divorce and I also have a DV restraining order against him too (my ex husband). He recently messaged a coworker at MY work place sending her screenshots of past things I had said about her but also personal things about ME to her. I only knew because she told me. It resulted in some coworker drama...k whatever. I had called the cops and they said if my restraining order says anything about he can't contact my coworkers and I said no...it only has to stay away from my work place my house my sons school and obviously me and my son in general. They also asked if he was threatening the coworker and i said to my knowledge no...so they said there's nothing they can do he's not "violating" the order...i asked that coworker if she could send me the screenshot of him messaging her so I could potentially put in a complaint to his work and provide proof. She refused to. Another coworker that she had talked to i had asked if SHE could send me proof of the other coworker telling her my ex had contacted her. She said I don't want to cause more drama...so a report to his work is probably out of the question but I will still try. Is there anything else I can do or is it all just pointless? Its frustrating because I already had issues with said coworker and he purposely made them worse. Any advice or help or suggestions are welcome..

Show your support

I know it’s not the best thing probably but I would start trying to find a new job cuz with him already muddying the waters with your coworkers I can imagine it’s gonna get worse. Especially since your coworkers clearly aren’t on your side helping you. And do not let him or anyone he may have contact with like said coworker know where your new job is… I know it’s not the best scenario cuz sometimes it’s not easy finding a new job… you can try to stick it out but I just feel he is gonna make it more messy

I agree with Lyss. Also, have you thought of reporting the incident to a supervisor. I know it would feel a bit counterproductive but at least you would have record of the incident if you need it in the future for court or anything like that. I’m not sure what putting in a complaint to his work would accomplish though. I’m not sure his job would care about what is going on at your job. I’m sorry you are going through this. Sending love! 🫶🏼

Yes, this happened to me honestly, at my job. I would definitely inform the supervisors first and make sure they have a copy of the restraining order just in case he tries to come to your work. Try to go no contact as much as possible. And also, it sounds like you’re dealing with a narcissist in your hands so it could be really tricky. It sounds like what he did was the smear campaign trying to sabotage personal relationships work they’re desperate they’ll do anything just don’t react to it because any type of reaction even negative the fuel off it so just try your best to be around support. Learn to love yourself again get into the hobbies that you used to love. That’s what helped me heal. I’m two years divorced from my toxic ex