Stressful anniversary (long post)
My partner and I been together for over 5 years. Marriage is important to me but he doesn’t want to “rush” we talk about it A LOT. I been holding back bringing it up this year as much as I can but I will admit sometimes my emotions get the better of me. The whole reason I’m even talking about this now on here is because on our anniversary I saw a video of a couple get engaged and it really made me happy and sad.
I’ll always be happy for people in love but it’s also disheartening to know my partner can’t take the initiative to propose knowing it’s what I want. Last year I told him I knew he wouldn’t propose and he said “you don’t know that” I can assure everyone he hasn’t proposed. He said at the end of august he had a surprise for me then again in October but there was nothing. I’m honestly starting to accept there may never be marriage and we have a baby and love each other so I guess I gotta just accept the life I have.
We all gotta make compromises in a relationship so I guess this is mine. Deep down it will bother me but maybe over time it won’t be so bad because I know he loves me.
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@Erin I see this a lot! People say your partner knows early on if they wanna marry you but I really think it depends on the person. My boyfriend never thought past dating until I brought it up. I feel like even though we were maybe 2-3 years in, since it JUST started to become a thought that’s why he feels like it’s rushing and maybe the thought of taking that leap is scary. We all have fears so I don’t blame him for that but I wish we could discuss it and come to an understanding.
Honestly, seems like there's something within him that doesn't want to fully commit for whatever reason. Marriage isn't about the piece of paper. It's making the commitment before an audience of your family and peers, a statement to all those you know that you're each other's ride or die for life. I was in a relationship for 8 years and we had similar conversations that were always met with "we don't need the title and the tax break, we love each other...." and that relationship dissolved into nothing. My now-husband knew I was the one within a few months of us dating. We were together for 2.5 years lived together for about a year, give or take. At one point one of us just said, "so... when are we getting married?" Within a month we bought each other engagement rings and were hitched within 3 months of having the official conversation one night. There was no hesitation, no doubt for either of us. When a man knows what he wants, he makes it happen.