Im in a Funk

I always wake up in a bad mood because I’m not a morning person but this morning felt different. The first thing my son did this morning when he woke up in his crib was pull and break our blinds then he took the curtain and chewed the tag off the back. He spit it out but I didn’t even know there was a tag on it. He has already chewed the tag off of one of his toys and choked on it then threw it up and I had no idea what he even had in his mouth. After that I cut the tags off of everything. But anyway I’ve been so depressed. I don’t have a village and my man has been working 12 hour days lately and I’m just so lonely and it’s really starting to get to me. I have no life. I didn’t even get to see my family for Easter and everyone feels so distant. I do nothing for myself and it’s not like I can because no one can watch my baby because he cries so hard he turns purple if I try to leave him anywhere. I’m burning at both ends and I’m wondering when im gonna be able to get a break. My baby honestly feels like a little terrorist in my life. I love him to death but I can’t help but feel like a bad mom because I get frustrated so easily. I just want to bury my face in my hands all day long. I’m the default parent all the time. I wake up with him at night. He ends up wanting to sleep with me so I let him and he kicks me all night I don’t remember the last time I actually had some quality sleep. I feel like I could sleep for 24 hours straight no problem. But even if I do sleep for more than a couple hours my mommy instincts wake me up to check if he’s breathing. I’m so tired.

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My kids are little Tasmanian devils I stg everytime I turn around it’s another mess it’s so hard to not be irritated but there’s little moments that make you smile and just go over and have fun. Still struggling but it gets better

I also feel the waking every few hours, mine learned how to open child lock and regular locks so I’m deathly afraid of them opening the doors so we have alarms but I still wake often I’m sorry you feel you have no village mama. I suggest maybe listening to pods at night when you can it lets you feel like you’re not just around a child all day like you have adults you can talk to. My inbox is always free❤️

I'm not close to you location wise but if you need someone to talk to please reach out. I literally could have wrote this.

Hey Sarah, we’re 2hrs apart but there’s always day trips! Would love to get to know you!

I get you girl. Having no time for yourself and then you end up losing your identity in this whole mom life thing. It’s so hard. I don’t remember life before kids. I started therapy/counseling and it’s helped me find ways to care for myself… “Self care”. … have you talked to your partner about this and how you’re feeling? You can message me too girl. sometimes having someone to talk to and relate to can help.