Intimacy

So I’m a first time mom and I been married almost gonna be a year and honestly I feel like after we had the baby the relationship died like there’s no spark all I ever crave is intimacy but my husband works nights so when he gets home in the morning he goes straight on the game then he sleeps he barely text me when he’s on his break. Honestly I just need some advice because I feel like my marriage is going down hill and idk what to do I love him but I want that spark again I wanna be in love again the relationship is boring.

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Honestly the best advice I got about this was someone told me your marriage sucks because your kids are little. That just happens sometimes. Idk how old your LO is but they’re just a lot and everyone deals with stress differently. Idk but it gave me a lot of peace. Also my husband and I really struggled with our first one, but once she was old enough for him to play with her he really got it. Now on our second and he’s a lot calmer, but there’s still struggle. If we didn’t already have a daughter I don’t think we would have stayed married, but with counseling and time things are much better.

Thank u I appreciate that

It’s so hard with little ones! My husband and I do have fights over us being intimate but we try to find what works best for us! We’re currently more in the roommate phase right now after having our second but it’s just a phase! Honestly sometimes we just have to plan when we are intimate when our schedules do align and the kids let us.

So we’ve been married a year in March. We had our first baby January this year. We’ve had to have some really honest conversations around this as it’s been my husband wanting intimacy but I’ve chosen sleep over it. I’ve had to tell him in order to have intimacy I need some relief from him when he finishes work with baby etc as he was doing everything else like cooking cleaning etc instead of help with baby but I needed like half hour from baby to just do something else even if it was cooking tea whilst he played with him etc Part 1/2

My husband texts me during work etc so I don’t have that. I told my husband I needed some ‘work up’ feelings in order to get intimate like having compliments and being held by my husband and little stuff like kisses on the neck etc as my brain is just 100% all on baby I also told my husband I would also try make the effort back as I felt like when he was trying to have a minute to ourselves of just hugging and kissing I was trying to get stuff done around the house as I say this opportunity as ‘baby is letting me have 5 mins of my life today to do something else!’ And I realised I was shutting my husband down So I feel you should try have those raw open conversation with your husband on how you feel, how he feels and some compromises between you both as it really opened both our eyes and sure we aren’t as intimate as before but it’s better

You really just need to talk it out. It's really hard when your baby eats 90% of your braincells you get what I like to call "decision fatigue." Right now my LO is 17 mo old and had been hitting a regression every other month since he's been born. He fights sleep like his life depends on it, and it wears both my and my husband out. I think we went from doing it once a week to now once every other week because we're just so tired. It definitely causes a gap between if you don't have intimacy but it doesn't mean that things are over, it's just a hard phase of parenthood and marriage. If you can, it's good to schedule a date, even if it's an at home date. My husband have boardgame nights occasionally instead of watching a show after baby goes to bed. It's actually quite refreshing and you still get some togetherness even if it's not physical intimacy.