Committed or not committed confusing?

My friend and I have been intimate on and off for 12-13 years. Despite claiming to love me, he resists labels or commitment, and sees others. He's a poor communicator, but I’m deeply in love and feel truly seen by him. When we're together, I feel loved and he's a shoulder I lean on. We were best friends before becoming intimate. Do I stay or go?

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Go after all that time and he don’t wanna be more committed than you already are. That’s a long time.

It’s probably best that you set some boundaries or just cut the relationship off altogether. Being physical can give a false sense of connection and attachment but he’s already showing you through his actions that all he values with you is the act of being intimate. After 12-13 years it’s time to start prioritizing your own self. He exercises his free will by choosing not to commit and actively sees other people. So it’s time to exercise your free will and starting pouring some of that energy into yourself then you will probably end up finding somebody that loves you and shows it by wanting to be exclusive. Sometimes it’s best to be alone so you can discover your boundaries and what you’re willing and not willing to accept in relationships. If you want a long term relationship, don’t compromise that for anybody because your needs and values are just as important as theirs.

As hard as it is to leave these situations your desire to be chosen is outweighing your need to be respected. Try to wrap your brain around the individual reasons why you want to stay and allow yourself to feel the truth of the possible outcomes. Likely you know already that this isn’t going to get better. You can talk to me if you’d like.. I’m in a similar situation. Almost 20 years now.