Is this a red flag

Have been going to the gym with a guy for 2 months. We've never actually been on a date, but he's asked if I wanted to go. We spend almost everyday together. He's mentioned wanting to be with me but liking how we naturally got here. Because initially I turned him down (twice) and just wanted to be friends lol. I asked him a question about him being with someone else and he basically said we spend everyday together and not to overthink it. And then he said he's putting me on a time out because I'm a little up and down and worrying about where we stand when he's basically said he's in it and wants to just ride it out

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You both sound lukewarm to me🤷🏽‍♀️ Life is too short to not just be clear and intentional in what we do and 100% go for what we want. none of this hard to get stuff. maybe time to just bin whatever it was and just continue to be 2 people who go to the gym together and find someone you will be hot for and who will be hot for you, no question, no childish games.

It sounds a bit you aren’t being honest with yourself and him and I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought you were playing games. The fact that a guy is spending everyday with you shows obvious interest but yeah… if you are turning him down (twice) and are only interested after thinking he’s spending time with someone else screams insecure attachment. No red flags on him, but this might be a red flag on you.

@Janis dang thanks for the honest truth. Funny enough we talk about our jobs and businesses and he gives me sound advice usually. He says I'm the problem with my overthinking and internalizing things that aren't personal. I was hesitant about getting with him because he's n attractive guy, a little older, he's definitely well liked and I guess I'm intimidated and a little insecure. But he also seems hot and cold. He's so open about liking me and about thinking we met for a reason and brings up me turning him down often aha. It's def a me problem a little

I have my own share of me problems. I used to be the type of person who went after taken men. And would yo-yo my boyfriends around and threatened to break up with them so I could feel secure when they begged me to stay. Very very unhealthy. It’s not a judgement just something I recognize from my own issues. I got therapy. It helped a ton. Have been happily married with 5 kids for 8 years now

You both seem flakey to me!

@Rebecca I'm just afraid of being hurt

Unfortunately risking being hurt is necessary 😅 You won’t get anywhere only putting 50% of yourself into relationships x

He probably is secretly married or in a long term relationship

I say give it a try and try not to worry about those things and if you don’t like where it’s going you can just be friends take it slow and have clear communication

People afraid to make mistakes don’t make anything at all. There is no protection or guarantee in life from anyone.

@Emily lmao no he's definitely not