Emotional affair? Apparently you can talk to anyone around the world on Reddit. I’ve started talking to a man who is married but having marriage problems like myself. We chat everyday and eventually it became sexual.

If you want to keep your man.. I say end it. Before it becomes bad and God exposes it.. then you will lose him and who knows if you and the other man will ever meet. But if you're really not happy with your husband.. end it with him.

@Mickey thanks. I don’t want to meet the other man I want to stay with my spouse. There’s just 1 thing that is lacking so I found that out with the other man.

Flip the script. How would you feel if you found out your husband was doing this with another woman? Would you be ok with him having a sexual relationship with her over messages just because he would never be able to meet her?

@Donna Woods and this is what I said to myself. Obviously I would hate it. However the problems I bought up to him are not changing or getting fixed, so if shoes were reserved I would be mad but understand. I know it’s wrong but I was at a point where I was going to physically cheat, so this was a safer outlet. Again I know it’s wrong I just never thought I would be at this place in my life where I ever thought I would do this.

Just leave. If you’re at this point then why stay together? That poor man.

@Donna Woods can’t I love him. Plus we have to many business investments together. We are happy I just want more, in the future I’ll bring up open relationship and see what he says

You can. But you’re cheating on him. And making excuses for it. It’s gross tbh. I feel very sorry for him.

I had the same issue but it was my partner that was talking to another woman. Now it hurt when I found out he was talking to someone else because he was lonely (because I am always either sorting kids or sleeping is what he said) . What really fucking cut me up though was the lying and hiding it. Really destroyed our trust. Tell him if it's innocent x

@Adele thanks. Are you guys doing better to this day? I was thinking the lying about it would cause trust issues which I don’t want. But I also don’t want to answer certain questions like what he talked about

@Donna Woods you’re right

I’m sorry to come across as so blunt and forward but I just think it’s so disrespectful. Regardless of what you feel may be lacking from your relationship, this behaviour is not ok. And the fact that you don’t want to answer certain questions about it means that it’s not innocent at all. I’ve seen this multiple times on this app but flipped where it’s the man that’s behaved in this manner, and he’s been torn apart for his behaviour. I don’t think there should be a double standard.

End this asap. Your husband deserves better and this will crush him and make his think your whole relationship is a lie. If you are unhappy in your marriage, there is counseling or books or communication or divorce.

I’d consider this cheating. Whether there’s potential to meet or not. It’s a sexual conversation. If you don’t tell your husband, at the very least, end it ASAP.

@Donna Woods no thank you lol You are me. I hate men like this, will people. I just hate that it’s this one small problem but I can’t seem to get over it. I don’t want to lose him I truly love him, he’s perfect in every other way. I think I justified it because we talked about adding a third (woman) to our relationship very far into the future, but what you are saying is what I usually say to people in this situation. So I think I needed to hear it from someone else because I can’t seem to figure it out for some reason without making excuses

@Haley he doesn’t believe in therapy, I tried the communication part. I will end talking to him

If nothing works to help the problem, the only solution you have is to separate or divorce

Yes we are kinda better. This was quite recent so although we are in a better place (we took a mini break, 2 night, away from the kids so we could just be us and reconnect again, this really helped) I still have that doubt in my mind but I force myself to try my hardest to trust him. It did almost break us though. I was ready to walk. He literally looked in my eyes and lied to me when I had suspicions previously and I just couldn't cope with it, how can I trust a word after that? I'm quite anxious and an overthinker anyway so just trying to keep that part of my mind under control is difficult which doesn't help with the whole situation. Now he knows my boundrys I'm hoping he won't cross them again. Time is a healer though as they say. Though I've told him it's going to take actions to get that trust back, not words coz let's face it, his word can't be trusted in my eyes at the moment. I am also trying to be more present in the relationship which should help stop him feeling lonely x

End it you might never even met this man he might be a catfish it’s not worth losing your husband in my opinion inless the relationship is really bad but you should definitely not cheat ❤️🫶I hope for the best of you

I was actually in a very similar situation years ago where I started to talk to someone that lived really far away and it turned slightly sexual. The way I justified it was so delusional—I told myself it was pretend and didn’t actually mean anything to me, and my husband and I were also very distant at the time so I was lonely. I just thought it was a fun thing that kept me from being unhappy in my relationship. It was truly one of my major life regrets. The way I compartmentalized it and justified it, is now very scary to me. I have since learned that I desperately needed therapy and now I know I have to be transparent with my husband with EVERYTHING, even if uncomfortable. Not even for my husband’s sake, but more for myself because I learned I sometimes lack perspective on situations and thus lack accountability. You should be honest with your husband even if you are struggling in the relationship. One secret can spiral to many if you’re not transparent.

Also it sounds like your secret has already escalated by turning from just talking to sexual. If you’re able to make excuses for that you might be surprised by what your brain will try to justify down the road. After being dishonest, it’s a long road to building trust back, but honestly my husband and I are now so much closer because of it. Also this could help you be even more transparent about your needs and explore being open more seriously down the road. I wish you nothing but positivity, but from someone that has been where you are, know that I regret those actions so so much now that I am past them. Honesty and transparency is the answer to a relationship that’s going to survive.

This man on Reddit could be another women for all we know so girl don’t tell him anything and delete Reddit account and end asap to keep your marriage if you’re wanting to keep it, if not then… keep messaging him/her and tell your husband about it and risk losing your marriage to this person online that might not be telling the truth about them self anyway. Ps: absolutely ghost Reddit person no justification needed going cold turkey ghost !!!!!!!

If it became sexual even if that was just over the phone or online, then it's not just an emotional affair. It's full blown. There is never an excuse for cheating. Also, you can not claim you love someone and choose to cheat on them. In my opinion. You need to be honest with your partner and deal with the consequences of your actions. He has also shown that he doesn't love you by refusing to work on the issues in your relationship, by the way. You both deserve better.

@Jasmin, why on earth does their gender matter if their communication led to an emotional and sexual affair?

If it crossed emotional and now intimate sexual boundaries I’d say this falls into the category of cheating. Weather or not you inform your spouse is up to you. I’d say your online relationship with this stranger needs to end. Find another way to strengthen your marriage without having an emotional affair or any other form of cheating.

@Hannah Well actually it doesn’t matter if they/he/ she or it was being talked to but since the the person is online behind a computer screen (do we really know all that we think we know how can we trust them what if they are just playing with our emotions) and then on the other side you someone that you love or loved at one point and care about in person in reality … who would you rather choose… and implying that it’s not worth it !!!! Its better to have one on one conversation with your real life person and talk out your problems with better conversation.

@Jasmin, in my opinion, it doesn't matter what the person on the other end was doing. She chose to actively and fully cheat on her husband. This is the point, nothing more, nothing less. She had issues in her relationship, and instead of dealing with them, she chose to cheat on someone she claims to love. She made her choice, and she chose the person online. That was the choice she made when she chose to cheat on her husband. In my opinion, there is never an excuse to cheat.

Thank you for sharing your perspective I respect where you’re coming from. Just to be clear, I’m not justifying cheating at all or saying it’s okay ever and with whom ever. I don’t believe there’s ever a good excuse for it. But I do believe that situations like these are often more emotionally complex than they appear on the surface. People make hurtful choices, yes but often from a place of pain, confusion, or unmet needs. That doesn’t make it right, but it does make it human. Someone making a mistake doesn’t mean they’re beyond understanding or growth. I think we can hold people accountable while still having compassion. Everyone’s story has layers, and I try to understand before judging. #we listen and do not judge # we respect other people’s opinions and comments #we stop targeting people on post and bring other women down…. 👍

@Jasmin, I have compassion for what she is going through in her relationship and probably so much more none of us know, I have compassion for the fact that communicating with her partner hasnt been working. I have compassion for the fact that she may be feeling lonely, upset, and hurt. I can have compassion AND call out a cheater. I myself am going through shit and if I ever get to the point where cheating is even a thought, I'm either seeking therapy, requesting couples counselling, or I will leave my partner. I guarantee you'd be singing a different tune if it was her husband who cheated on her.

Please don’t reply to me again and keep tagging me, as I didn’t tag you in last post I’m done talking to you over this post. Thanks

@Jasmin, you didn't tag me, but VERY clearly responded to me. No difference. I'm not sure how I offended you. Guess we are done talking though.