in January 2023 Babies 🇺🇸

“Terrible 2’s” are no joke…😭😭

My daughter just turned two a few months ago and her behavior is driving me so crazy. She used to be so sweet and a great listener and never really challenged the rules. But as of recently she is throwing horrible fits, refusing to take a nap, not wanting to eat anything when I make her meals and snacks saying “I don’t like it”, throwing screaming fits anytime I give her water or juice in her sippy cup because she only wants milk, laughs at me anytime she is being disciplined, and gets pissed off any time we don’t do exactly what she wants how and when she wants it. I don’t understand why she’s acting out this way. When we are in public or at relatives houses she’s the perfect little angel but as soon as we get home it’s right back to the bullshit. I don’t understand. She’s received gentle parenting with boundaries and rules that are not to be broken and she used to do perfectly fine with just that but now nothing seems to work no matter what time I use or if I take away toys she doesn’t care. When I talk to my in laws about her behavior they say I need to “start spanking her and making her scared to act out and that her opinion and feelings doesn’t matter because parents are the boss” . I have a problem with that because I was never spanked as a kid and I don’t believe in instilling fear in your kids to make them obey you that’s how you create emotionally damaged little humans. What do I do please help me

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lol it’s the age, my 2 yo does the same. He looked me dead in my face and snapped the arms off my glasses, while i’m saying no. It will pass and it’s normal

God please don't listen to your in laws! Probably best not to complain to them anymore about it because that's terrible advice. Your daughter is the same age as mine and I can confidently tell you this is normal. Forget about last week behavior and expect the unexpected when it comes to their responses moving forward for quite a while. They are rapidly changing in ways we can't understand as an adult. Trust me I know all this doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but it will pass. Just stay consistent with your methods and maybe consider a new one that doesn't involve physical or mental abuse! Shame on your in laws smh...

My approach has always been when she’s having a tantrum I let her get it out for a second and then I’ll sit with her and talk about those big emotions and ask her questions to help her navigate why that behavior occurs and other ways she can express herself without being aggressive or defiant. But her dad and his parents tell me I’m too soft

Well her dad says it because listen to his parents lmao, that's how they raised him. Doesn't mean it's right. He should be grown enough to notice that. Sounds like you are doing all the right things for her age.

I agree with jen Also I have a daughter born the same month and oh my shes off the chain lol.

I disagree with his parents as well. With their parenting style it appears that the ultimate goal is to establish who is in charge. For me my ultimate goal is to provide my kids with the tools and skills they need to have in order to become emotionally intelligent adults that can regulate their feelings of anger or sadness and cope with things properly rather than just shutting it down with fear or “abandonment” by leaving them to deal with it alone

Yeah since I am a SAHM my day is consists of hanging out with her all day. We play games, read, do puzzles, play outside, she helps me with making breakfast lunch and dinner (if she is interested if not she plays with her toys while I do it) we sing songs and have what she calls dance parties or we swim in the pool.

if she helps with meals and you give her two acceptable choices of things to make, does she still tantrum? I would definitely stay curious about what happens leading up to the tantrum. like is she overtired/hungry/transitioning from one activity to another, so on. It sounds like you involve her in things. Does she get choices of things to do or do you set the schedule for the day? Like today i gave the choice of helping me with laundry or mulching the garden. My daughter does really well when i involve her in everything (rather than trying to entertain her all day) and give her age appropriate tasks to do to “help.” I found that when she does tantrum its when she’s overtired or we’ve had a busy day where she hasnt had a lot of choice in what we were doing. Good luck 🫶🏽