Scared of Abortion 💔

Hi Ladies - I’m 29, and I have two boys with my partner of 13yrs. Ages 4 and 2. I have very unexpectedly fallen pregnant. I’m 7 weeks. It was a huge shock. And not planned at all. My partner is certain he doesn’t want this , and I’m 50/50. I know it’s not practical for us to be honest. Financially it would be really tough, mentally, sharing myself with 2 other children, (my youngest is hard work too) I’m not sure it’s really the right time. But I can’t help but feel heavy with guilt. I’m already a mummy, and I know what it could be, and that’s crippling me! I have enquired about an abortion. I’ve got all the meds ready, but I’m just so scared, I had a serious haemorrhage with both my deliveries and I’m scared this will trigger the same thing. I’m scared I’ll see it. I’m scared I’ll regret it forever. I’m just so anxious, but in all honesty it wasn’t the right time. I want a 3rd but always pictured us having one ina couple years, moving to a bigger house etc… it’s just happened a bit early. It doesn’t feel happy anymore. My partner doesn’t want this, my eldest starts school this year, it’s all a lot. And a 3rd baby would be a big strain on us all. Any kind advice or experiences warmly welcomed. Thank you. 🙏🏼