in New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Ex wants to have our son around his new gf

I’m not really sure where to start here as it’s quite a long story. I think I’m just after a bit of advice from anyone that’s been in a similar situation? My ex left me in January after 10 years together and now wants to take our 1yr old (almost 2yr old) for a day out with him and his girlfriend next week. He officially got with his gf 2 days after he left me (I suspect it was going on beforehand). He already took our son for a day out with her before I knew about her so he introduced them behind my back (2 weeks after leaving me) and when I found out I said that was unacceptable and that he shouldn’t be introducing our son to a new partner so soon and that we needed to revisit it at a later date, if ever. He thinks 4 months is enough time but I’m really struggling with it. I’m still very hurt by what he did and the thought of my son spending the day with them together has me feeling really upset and uncomfortable. He’s also said his new gf doesn’t like me. I haven’t done anything to do her at all. I don’t particularly like her for being a part of ruining my family but that’s valid in my eyes. She is a mam of 2 so I thought she would understand and be a bit empathetic but she introduced her kids to him from the start (even him sleeping over from week 1) so we clearly have different views on this. Am I being unreasonable to want him to wait to reintroduce them? Sorry that was long tia for reading x

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Of course your not wrong. Your his Mum his primary career and he’s the chest that disrespected his own sons mum. I’m going to be honest if it was me in your shoes I’d stop him having all contact outside alone with my son. If he wants contact it should be in your presence, if he’s lying and introducing your son to his new gf behind your back then what else is he doing? He can’t be trusted and she sounds like a complete tramp that just broke a family up. You are not in the wrong in anyway shape or form - he sounds like scum and a bad example of a father!

Carer*

Cheat*

A Lot of spelling mistakes, prob just my high emotions from reading that

I think in this situation you have to remove your feelings (easier said than done especially with how he’s treated you)You have every right to want him to wait to introduce as you don’t want your child being around lots of different women anyway. With my daughters father we agreed that we would tell each other when we’ve met someone and want to introduce that person to her and we’ve both done that but when we both knew the relationships we were in were serious. He did this before me and it was hard but I let it happen as I didn’t want it to affect the relationship my daughter has with her dad (this is something to think about with your son and his dad) and also our co-parenting relationship. However my daughters fathers new partner doesn’t like me either (because of our coparenting relationship) but I honestly could care less as long as she kind and is respectful to my child that’s all that matters, and she likes my daughter and my daughter likes her and that’s all that matters tbh.

Ultimately if you trust your sons father and know he’s going to be safe with his dad around his dads new partner let it happen. Because when you meet someone new you’re going to want to introduce him to your son at some point too! And it’s not really fair if you have your partner around him but his dad can’t have his around him if there’s no concerns.