Controversial post! Re women being offended by bump comments

I'm not bothered by it personally but you have stated in your post why you understand- there's a line. People commenting on the bump isn't the issue. People being disrespectful about your body is. Telling someone they're eating for 2 or that they must be carrying twins are both stemming from the same fat shaming root. It results in some women feeling guilty for eating or for feeling bad about something we have zero control over. The opposite is also true, not everyone has a big bump, some are petite so making comments assuming mother isn't eating enough etc. Is harmful. Not sure if I'm making sense, let me know what you think. Have a good day x

My bump was huge and when people commented on that I use to say “I hope so there is a human being in there” 😂 I loved having a bump!!

I’ve not had anyone specifically say ‘your bump is so big!’ It’s ALWAYS ‘you look so big’ ‘sure it’s not twins’, and that bothers me, I don’t think it’s appropriate to comment on someone else’s pregnant body when you would never announce to a room ‘you look so big’ if someone wasn’t pregnant. Just because I’m pregnant it doesn’t open up a whole room conversation about the way I look. Equally a lot of women have struggled with body image issues and I personally haven’t pre pregnancy but since being pregnant have definitely felt conscious of my weight gain. It’s not necessarily that I get upset it’s more that it is unnecessary and can be incredibly rude. Tell me my bump has popped, or I’m glowing or I have a round bump etc. but to start commenting on my body I find rude personally! I also know pregnant women who have had particularly small/big bumps and it can cause worry about the health of the baby and if things are okay.

Can’t stand when people say that I’m big or I must be having twins or saying I’m further along than I am! Personally it’s does bother me!

@April I get this so much, it’s so rude

But also some mums-to-be may be struggling with body dysmorphia or an eating disorder and being told that there bump is huge or any insinuation that they've gained weight could have a detrimental impact on mum's mental health. People don't have a right to comment on other's changing bodies, and I feel that it's rude and disrespectful to make such comments.

I was the size of a bus both times, anyone saying otherwise was either lying or blind 😂 I wasn’t bothered though, I was happy to have a big belly

It’s inappropriate to make unsolicited comments on other people’s bodies. Women are constantly criticised for their bodies whether it’s ’too big’ or ‘too small’. With the stress of wanting to be the healthiest you can for your baby, the awareness of the body changing, and knowledge that you may never get your pre-pregnancy body back, pregnant women’s bodies don’t need to be under further scrutiny. Even a comment made in good faith could be misinterpreted by a worried, hormonal mother to be. Just stick with ‘wow, you’re glowing/you look fabulous/you’re doing great’, there’s literally no need to reason to target a person’s belly, especially if you don’t know them. Tits grow when you’re pregnant, but you don’t want strangers going ‘wow, your milk jugs are getting huge!’

I personally don’t get offended. But I understand that getting pregnant doesn’t magically cure self esteem issues and isn’t going to solve pe-existing tendencies to insecurity; and being secure in your body and loving yourself isn’t a fertility must to get pregnant. I know of pregnant women that from day one are obsessed with not gaining too much weight and counting the days to go on a diet and others count the days to have a cheese board and a glass of wine. It is obvious who could be more offended…but no one knows everyone and I think being cautious with others feelings is always good.

Never had someone talk about bump directly, they usually talk about how big you are now like “wow you’re getting big” yes it’s probably in relation to the bump but it’s just a bit uncomfortable to comment on peoples body. When I see any of my friends pregnant I chose to tell them they’re glowing or they look so beautiful and healthy, they’re carrying well.etc . There’s so many other things you can comment on about beauty than coming from a more negative tone. Personally my worst experience was when I was in 2nd tri someone very close to me said to me “wow so this is how you would look if you were unhealthy” lol

I personally just don’t think you need to comment on the size, you can say other things that are complimentary like ‘glowing’. As someone who has suffered with an eating disorder, hearing the word big is quite triggering for me, and I worry that applies to me generally rather than the bump. People just don’t need to comment in my opinion

I’m not bothered by that now I have a big bump (36 weeks) but I am bothered by bullshit comments people have made. For example, commenting on what the gender “must” be based on the shape of my bump at 12 weeks (I still didn’t really have a bump then). Now one I’ve had twice is that my bump has “dropped” - it very much hasn’t, baby is breech and my bump is visibly still jutting out high. Even if both examples are well meaning I find them so irritating and fake.

I understand that people take offence to it but i find that the meaning behind the comments is usually not trying to cause offence. I like to consider people’s intentions (even if the delivery isn’t great) and in most cases they are just trying to acknowledge the pregnancy progressing and probably just don’t know what they are supposed to say.

I loved it when people said how big my bump was HOWEVER I hated it when a few times old men from the pub I worked in called me "fatty" because I was pregnant 🫠

When I was pregnant, my bump wasn't massive even when overdue. I had a few comments of 'you wouldn't know you're pregnant' which wound me up a bit. I spoke to my midwife about it and she said I was measuring where I should be and that because I'm tall and have a long torso, LG was just stretched out so my bump just looked smaller which helped. After that, if comments were made, I just said "well I'm measuring where I should be so all is good"

My bump was small but then when I left my job to go off for matty leave it was huge , mine was that bump face on you knew I was pregnant but not to far on it looked but side on I was massive 🤣 and was due like a weeks time. I loved my bump / loved pregnancy full stop I even liked the odd sickness too because I waited 5 years for my child and also went though Ivf to have her so I was just grateful to be pregnant to be honest x

I loved my bump, and like you say, obviously, you’re going to grow but when I saw an old client and the first thing she said to me was Oooo it’s you, I nearly didn’t recognise you, you’ve put loads of weight on I was really upset! Yes, I know you put weight on during pregnancy but I had also been pumped full of hormones and other medication due to it being an ivf pregnancy I knew I’d ballooned, I just didn’t need reminding of the fact 😵‍💫