What’s your stepchildren relationship with half siblings?

My step son is 12 and me and his dad have a 1 year old. My stepson completely ignores his brother, like you can tell that he wants nothing to do with him and it all feels very awkward when they are around each other. My little boy obviously loves his big brother but there is no empathy, no warmth, nothing from the other side. This obviously hurts me deeply but I have been told (by my husband and his family) that is totally normal and it’s the difference in age that doesn’t allow my stepson to connect with his brother. Just checking how your stepchildren get along with their half siblings and if there’s anyone in the same situation and how you cope with it 🌸

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My stepson is just about to turn 13. He was 9 when my first daughter was born. And because she was a baby he didnt take much interest. He held her a couple of times but it was only when he was able to play with her and they could chase each other that he took a little more of an interest. He is the same with my second daughter. So he has 2 sisters and my youngest is only just shy of 6 months. He is more interested in staying in his room gaming than anything else. He will carry on with his oldest sister (now 4) when he comes round then he mostly stays in his room as doesnt want her to be wanting to play with him all the time and wants to be left alone. It took a couple of years due to it being when she was steady and running around, but they do get there in time. Most kids find them boring until there is something they can do with them xxx

@Hannah we sat down with him on a couple of occasions and he does try to a knowledge his brother but you can see the struggle and you can tell he is uncomfortable. A bit cringe too😬 I wonder if there’s ever going to be a relationship

@Alyson Murray I hope this happens to us too. Like you said, my stepson also spends most time in his bedroom and it did get to a point where he wasn’t even saying hello to his brother when coming in, that’s when I thought that something was wrong in their relationship…

My stepdaughter is 9 and my son is 1 My stepdaughter absolutely adores him especially as she only sees him a few times a month. I'm sorry your step son wants nothing to do with your child 😔 that's sad. I don't think you can force him to have a relationship with your child. Hopefully as your child gets older he may want to be more involved. Could it be jealousy? Is your step son getting attention too? Can his dad take him out just for a father son day and chat to him about it ?

My ss is 12 and only showed an interest in my son when he started to crawl. My sd is 5 and avoids my son completely but plays with her brother (the 12yo) no problem. Tbh I’m quite happy for ss to interact with my son. And I’m also happy that sd doesn’t because honestly, she’s not very nice and since my son was born she’s just gotten worse. They share a room currently and she’s always being noisy to wake him etc. so weekends are hard! I hope you find a resolve soon xx

Just to add ss spends most of the time hiding away on his Xbox 😂 but will interact on his terms when he feels like it and we have never put a pressure on him to do anything. When I was pregnant he was not happy about us having a baby, but as soon as he came to meet his brother he asked to hold him straight away, I think he was mostly just delighted to have a brother 😂 then realised he didn’t do anything as a newborn so didn’t do anything with him as I said until he was crawling.

My stepdaughter is 6 and our daughter is 1 and tbh they don’t have a great relationship.. my daughter is all for her older brother (my son 10) because she spends so much more time with him SD doesn’t ignore our daughter and will play with her sometimes but ultimately they don’t have the best relationship because of how little time they get together I will say though that I agree that 12 year olds aren’t really interested in siblings

My son and daughter are 11 and 12 in the next few weeks and adore my youngest who is 5month. My eldest said today on the way back from school once baby can walk he's probably not going to still be seeing his friends because he doesn't want to be away from him and miss a thing. We all live together 24/7. They're both obsessed with him! I do think living together helps but age gap hasn't been an issue here. If he has limited/weekend contact it's probably harder, could he visit more?

@Leah he lives with us 50% of the time so I don’t think that’s the problem. I think that because his dad is at work all the time he does t really feel part of my family (me and baby) and preferred to avoid us. That’s a bigger problem

This sounds so similar to our situation. My SS is nearly 11 and my son is 8months. And for months and months he has been so distant with him, literally pretty much ignored him! In the end we decided that in the weekend I would lay in bed and my husband and boys would have a ‘boys morning’. I figured that maybe SS felt awkward being affection towards brother if I was holding him or sat with him, so made sure he was exposed lots with his dad instead? Does that make sense? We have started to see light at the end of the tunnel now! But it’s been really hard, I think it’s normal to a certain degree

@Tyesha yeah I see your point and I try to leave the boys some space (but it’s difficult to convince my husband to look after both kids at once 😂)

My LO has 2 SBs one who doesn’t leave him alone and the other who constantly tells him he’s annoying. My LO is 10 months old SS are 5&6, the older one says he’s annoying constantly. At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt but now it’s getting my back up so I’ve started saying whenever he comes near me that he’s annoying me. We’ve spoken to BM to let her know and she’s ok with this as we’re teaching him that saying that to someone isn’t very nice and hurts their feelings. Have you spoken to your partner about it?x