Sleepovers with new partner while divorce is pending?
Hello everyone. First time posting and I’m a bit nervous. Has anyone ever had a new partner sleepover (with kids present) while their divorce is pending?
My soon-to-be ex and I split in March, and he moved out that month. I have 5 kids ranging in age from 5 years old (twins) to 14. I know that the reasonable answer would be “no” just to be on the safe side, but if I am to spend any time with my new partner, it’s kind of all-or-nothing because of geography—he lives in the UK and I live in the US. He is the love of my life; we were together for years (I moved overseas for him) and when we broke up it wasn’t our choice. Since reconnecting we’ve spent some time together during several work trips that I’ve taken, and now he has booked a flight to come to see me in August for 9 days. He offered to stay in a hotel, but that would be really impractical since he won’t have a car. My soon-to-be-ex was abusive, and so far there is no custody order. Ultimately I doubt he’ll get shared physical because of his history, though he is asking for it—most likely, the kids will be with me unless I ship them off to my mom who lives in another state, and I don’t want to do that.
I really want him to stay with me and I’m super excited about it. I think that this is probably a gray area and although my soon-to-be-ex will be furious if/when he finds out, but I wonder if there could actually be negative consequences. I will have been separated for five months by then, but I’m sure the divorce won’t be finalized because we don’t even have a docket number yet. Has anyone else navigated sleepovers with new partners while their divorce was still pending? Please be kind as I’m nervous about asking this, even anonymously.