Fear of Dying during Child Birth

I think the chance of dying giving birth is super low, no? Special with all the technology at hospitals we have nowadays. My biggest fear is to give birth at home with no doctors or machines to help me if something happens. But if you are planning to go to a hospital, don't worry, we have great doctors who know what they are doing and they don't wanna lose a patient. They work really hard to save your life.

@Vanessa yes! I definitely agree that having a baby in a hospital setting with doctors nearby can help with this fear as I know they’ll work hard to save me if something was to go wrong! But the maternal death rate in the US is scarily higher than most other western nations. US is over 20% and Sweden, for example, is only 5%.

Honestly; I had that fear during my pregnancy however the day of my induction which ended up being a c section for the exact same reason as you I honestly didn’t feel afraid and this is coming from a black woman. At felt relaxed, my doctor was amazing and the c section wasn’t as bad as I thought. I overcame it by basically leaving it in Gods hands

If you can afford it or your insurance will cover it, you might want to look into a doula or midwife. They are there as extra support and an advocate for you that I imagine will help with your stress and allow you to relax more. A good one can also help prepare you for birth and soothe your anxiety as it arises at the hospital. Create a playlist of soothing songs/sounds to play in the birthing suite and bring a speaker with a charger. Create a space in which you can relax in. Hospital death rates are low but not nonexistent and a lot of that is in part to mothers not seeking medical help until they are delivering. As long as you are being followed by an OB and your risks have been assessed throughout the process, you should be fine.

Something to consider - the maternal death rate doesn’t include only those who die in childbirth, but also in the weeks following. I went to a lecture in March on US birth stories and it seems that a large portion of those deaths occur after giving birth due to other factors like PPD and insufficient postnatal care. It’s still horrifyingly high, but there are a wide range of causes. It’s important to surround yourself with the support and care you need not just during birth, but after. ❤️

The death rate is actually much lower than 20% (less than 1%) as it is 22.3 deaths per 100,000 births in the US, not 20%. 20% would be really really scary!! I was really scared of death too, I just had to remind myself that the chances were incredibly slim. I made sure that I felt safe and connected with my nurses so that if anything were to feel off that they would listen to me. I also had a doula who could have advocated if needed and this gave me some peace of mind. Once I was in the moment though I was just so worried about baby and that took most of my focus. My nurses also provided me education (without being judgy) about pitocin and other things I was nervous about and that really helped! Also for me, my fear of death or emergency was too strong to have a home birth, giving birth in the hospital made me feel safer. Another good thing to ask your hospital is what the nursing staffing ratios are, L&D nurses should never have ratio greater than 1:2

Its definitely not 20% !!! I think you have scared yourself with that false number. Its 22.3 deaths per 100,000 births. That's less than .02% which is 2% of 1% which is insanely low. It was roughly 800 women in total in 2022. Of several million. And many could have had other complicating risk factors long before going into labor. The rate of perfectly healthy women dying in child birth is minuscule. You are literally (statistically) more likely to be murdered than die during child birth. Also statistically, the mortality rate for first birth is much higher than baby 2-4 (5 babies and it goes up again). So being your second, you are even LESS likely to die. I'll add that stat and reference in a second comment.

Increased risk of maternal mortality: Studies have shown that the maternal mortality rate is higher for first births compared to subsequent births. This may be due to a combination of factors, including a higher likelihood of complications and a lack of experience with the birthing process. Overall, the risk of death was about 18% higher for first-time mothers compared to mothers with 2-4 children, after accounting for all factors (Dior, Hochner, Friedlander, Calderon-Margalit, Jaffe, Burger, Avgil, Manor, & Elchalal, 2019)

All that aside, if the statistics don't settle your mind, you may want to seek out therapy. Its possibly you are struggling with antenatal/perinatal depression/anxiety/OCD. Basically ppd before the baby comes. I had it this pregnancy and it was rough. It gets worse during labor and postpartum with the surge of hormones so its ideal to get treatment before. And even if that's not the case, a therapist may be able to help you better process the feelings. Your insurance also likely covers it. I think maybe the best thing to help you self process would be what about childbirth scares you the most, and what part are you most concerned about dying during. Then what are you most scared of if you do die? Is it actually dying, leaving your children without a mother, or dads ability to care for the children if you are gone?

When I had my second 4 months ago, and was going through the mental health stuff, I wasnt really scared of the actual labor and delivery since I'd been through that before and it was fine. I was the most scared about leaving my daughter without a mom. I had to remind myself that she has so many women who love her and would be here for her and if I'd had more energy, I'd have written a letter or recorded a video or something for her. But I had high blood pressure and felt like shit and was not having life at that point.

I'm reading this book too. I was with you up until they put you in triage for 8 hours. ERM how was this not enormously stressful? How were you supposed to dilate when you weren't even in the right room for it? I haven't given birth yet, but are you telling me you were in the ER room with all the sick and dying people trying to dilate?

Hi it is scary as anything can happen … but our body’s will take over naturally and will be what it will be if needs c section or normal delivery.. u in safe hands at the hospital im due my 3rd on 3rd aug i had bad experience with my 2nd had be induced an his cord was wrapped round his neck i was 7cm dilated with no pain relief as the silly women kept egnorin me to attached to the phone.. this pregnancy has been the worst an i havent been to well 2 times iv woken up felt lik my breathin tryin to stop scared me .. heartburn 4mnths none stop has been horrid too!! Im hopin for a quick smooth delivery 🙏 😞.. Hope ur ok and all the best for u xxx

Just listen to ur body and deep breaths we all no our own bodys if we dont feel right always make sure u tell the staff xxx 😘

Sounds to me like they didn't give you long enough to labour naturally and then caused babies distress by getting you on a drip unnecessarily x

Thank you all mamas, just hearing this from all of you has helped so much 🤗 I know everything will be okay, and I just have to work hard to not let my fear take over my mind during my labor.

As a black woman specifically, yes! I actually said in theatre, ‘please keep me alive’ - as black women are 4x more likely to die in childbirth unfortunately. So the fear whatever race, is normal