How do you make your boyfriend understand the fact that you had a miscarriage and he acted like it was nothing. He compared it to his dog dying… also sad it really was.. bit I don’t know what to do
There’s a really good book called beyond grief that touches on this, men just don’t feel what we do. We go through the physical and they don’t, and we also feel a greater emotional attachment than they do the minute we see a positive line whereas men tend to not feel an emotional attachment until they see a baby at the end of the 9 months! We all grieve in different ways and although it’s insensitive to compare your baby to his pet dog I’d say give him the benefit of the doubt if it’s not in his nature to purposefully upset you. If anything he’s probably trying to make sense of his own grief by comparing it to a loss he’s already experienced with something tangible. As long as he’s supporting you when you need it we can’t force others to feel how we do - miscarriage is one of the loneliest experiences, sending you so much love and strength!
There’s a really good book called beyond grief that touches on this, men just don’t feel what we do. We go through the physical and they don’t, and we also feel a greater emotional attachment than they do the minute we see a positive line whereas men tend to not feel an emotional attachment until they see a baby at the end of the 9 months! We all grieve in different ways and although it’s insensitive to compare your baby to his pet dog I’d say give him the benefit of the doubt if it’s not in his nature to purposefully upset you. If anything he’s probably trying to make sense of his own grief by comparing it to a loss he’s already experienced with something tangible. As long as he’s supporting you when you need it we can’t force others to feel how we do - miscarriage is one of the loneliest experiences, sending you so much love and strength!