Feeling Belittled

I feel as though I may be overly sensitive about this, but it’s seriously put me down. I’ve been having issues with my mother since I’ve met my husband and we started our family. Once our first was born, I tried going back to work, but it wasn’t a fit for our family so I became a SAHM when our first was 7 ish months old. My mother was miserable about my having kids. She thought I threw my life away, that I should’ve travelled and worked more. Anyway, my aunt invited myself, my kids, and my mother over for an afternoon visit which was great. During that visit my Aunt asked how I was doing with my 2 kids and a 3rd on the way and I was honest about the struggles, but overall really good. Then my Aunt moved on to ask my mother how all my other siblings were doing. Well she went on a proud rant about one sister still assistant managing her workplace, the other sister starting at a new big company, and my brother learning new in demand skills at his job. Then my mother just gave a nod in my direction and said “and this one’s at home making babies”. It could’ve been meant to be light hearted or funny, but it just felt so demeaning and belittling. I felt so devalued. Like I was meant to be ashamed. Especially because I’ve had issues with my mother about this topic before. Idk. Thanks for the rant. I’ve just been feeling awful since then.

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Personal opinion, take your partner over to her house and have a chat about the issue of her disrespect. If she wants to have access to her grand babies, she needs to learn to be respectful

Wow That's so hurtful. Have you talk with her about this ? She apparently project different expectations over you and clearly doesn't approve your life's decision. She have to at least respect it and respect you. If she can't, I would protect my own sanity and distance myself from her.

my response would’ve been “so what about the time YOU stayed home making babies ? that was acceptable wasn’t it or me and my siblings wouldn’t be around today, yet it’s a problem when i decide that i want to make my own family ?”

Just because she is family does not give her a free pass to say whatever she wants. You are an adult and have the right to live your life however you want. I would not be allowing anyone to disrespect me especially not in front of people and certainly not Infront of my children. I would tell her to wind her neck in and keep her opinions to herself or cut her out of my life

What a load of bullshit! Just say bullshit! Creating good humans is so important to the future of humanity! Making the decision to stay at home and work 24/7 is hard. You and your partner are a team and have made that choice together, the choice that suits your family and its values. All families are different and all make the best choices for their own values and situations. I’m on a bit of a rant because I’m tired of differences being used to make judgments! I’m actually tired of people being dicks just because they are unhappy. Both advocate and stand up for your family dynamic and ignore the hate.