How do I say this without sounding rude ?

My daughter’s dad is in prison but has managed to get in a relationship whilst there. They have now been dating 6 months which is great I’m happy for them. My problem/ concern is that she is planning on moving into his mums house in the next few weeks but I’m not comfortable with a stranger been around my child to my knowledge she’s met my child for 1 hour when I agreed to meet them so I could to his partner we both agreed we wouldn’t introduce partners until 6 months of dating. How do I explain I don’t want his partner changing, bathing or telling our child what to do at the moment ? My daughter goes to his mums 2 days a week and she’s a brilliant nan. I can also appreciate step mums but for now I don’t want the partner to over step any boundaries but I want to put it across as politely and non-confrontational as possible ❤️

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Have a heart to heart with her. I think you’re being fair in wanting to be cautious with who handles your child and I would say just that.

@LeKenya thank you for your advice

I don’t really have advice but just wanted to praise you for your understanding and respect for your BD and his parter. You must be an exceptional mum to relax your guard and respectfully welcome her into your daughter’s life. I’m sure if the girlfriend can feel your respect and desire to be polite, it will only further encourage her to be the best for your daughter. I wish you all the best.

@Sharon thank you so much that is really kind 🙂

Why don't you try and arrange to meet up with her before she moves to get them familiar with each other and show your child you like and trust this stranger dad has chosen. I think you're being perfectly fair to be cautious I wouldn't be in your shoes I'd be hiding.

Tbh I feel like if you have to explain any of this to her then it's not someone I would feel safe leaving my child with, if youre concerned she's willing to let a stranger change and bath your child that's very worrying and probably not a safe person to be leaving your child with imo

@katherine fair point but it’ll be “ she’s her step mum not a stranger”

@Fay either way it is very early days and I feel like it should be common sense on her nannies behalf to not let a girlfriend/ step mum who she doesn't know properly care for a child in such ways, at this moment in time she is essentially a stranger..

@katherine I think it’s way too early for them to be moving in together but that’s not for me to say. I would have to date someone around 1/2 years before they even met my child so I knew exactly who they was and then I wouldn’t be moving them in unless I knew how my daughter felt around them because she comes first x

I doubt she's expecting to jump in and parent your child but you should chat with her about it anyway and make sure you're on the same page.

@Ella totally x

Sounds PERFECT and very reasonable