Babies last name

would you want to do both your last names? i don’t think you’re being harsh i understand your feelings but on the other hand i also understand his. i think it really depends. do you plan to get married in the future? its hard to say bc if she takes your last name and then you get married and want to give her his last name it will take a TON of work to do a legal change so idk if you want to go through all that but on the other hand if you don’t know if marriage really is in your future then you may be more inclined to want to give her your last name.

my partner and i aren’t married either and we decided to give baby both our last names. it was a mutual decision but he did say that if we were to use just my name it wouldn’t feel “right” (maybe the wrong word to use) to him bc the baby is both of ours

It’s ultimately an agreement between you and your partner but my opinion would be to hyphenate the 2 names for now. If you get married down the road you can decide then if everyone will change to your husbands name or if you keep it hyphenated. Just my 2 cents :) Especially if he is an involved father, it doesn’t seem fair to only give babies your name

I am in the same boat I'm not married and unfortunately the kids have his last name I never got a say so. 😭

Unmarried, I believe, giving baby moms last name. It makes it so much easier. Honestly, if you are married and keep your name, I think it's best to give baby mom's surname as well. Doctors and schooling other paperwork just makes it easier for mom and baby to have the same surname.

I think it is a bit odd to not want them to have daddy’s surname to be honest, you may grow the baby for 9 months but they are bound to you as their mother and sharing daddy’s surname binds them together too. If you don’t want them to share your partners surname and say “if you ever decide” to get married, are you sure you’re making the right decision having the baby together?🙈

Just like everyone else in the comments, we decided to-our babies last name so our first child has both of our last names. We are now engaged and planning a wedding later this year so next Baby will not have my last name.

@Lewanda nah we don't have space for this, It ain't odd at all. It's an antiquated ideal for the baby to get their dads name, the baby can have hyphenated so sharing the name of both parents. To say she may not be making the right decision having the baby with him because she doesn't want the baby to have SOLELY his name or because their potential marriage is an "IF" is a bold statement love. We're in 2025. She grew that child, she gets a say in what the child's last name will be. If her partner isn't willing to hyphenate he is being ridiculous.

@Jamie I don’t disagree with hyphenating, but it’s the other commenters that have suggested this rather than the poster🙈 if she doesn’t want to hyphenate with his surname, then I think I am right in what I’m saying love x

Me and my partner aren’t married, but engaged and both kids have his last name. We will get married soon, so I’ll have the same name as them all. It’s never bothered me personally as I see a future with my partner so I know eventually we’ll have the same name and it’s easier for me to change my name than have to change the kids last names. It’s down to you and your partner though, no one else.

@Jamie thank you for saying that. My partner does not want a double barrelled last name. He wants two middle names and he feels it will be too much. In his ideal world, which he feels very strongly about, she would only have his last name. This baby was 100% created and grown with love and care and I also agree you cannot state ‘are you sure you should be having a child’. I am not traditional, so therefore it has not made sense our child should immediately get his last name. We are still deep in conversation about what is right for us and our child. I appreciate all of your considerations ❤️

We are unmarried and will have 3 kids together by May as that’s when I’m due my 3rd. I prefer my partners last name and we’ve been engaged since I got pregnant with our first child so I was always happy to use his last name and we’re getting married in August at which point I’ll take his name too. I’ll admit it bugs me that I’ve got a different name to my two kids but I knew it was only going to be temporary so I’m okay with it I think ultimately it has to be a joint decision but when push comes to shove the mother gets the final vote because the mother is the one who has sacrificed the most by the time baby is born I would tell him he has two choices, either you double barrel (which I think is fairest if you can’t agree) or baby is getting your last name that way you’ve compromised so you can both have your last names added but you’ve also made it clear you’re not going with just his name and if anyone gets just their name it’s going to be you

As I'm unmarried, my daughter has my last name. When we decide to get married, I will change it.

@Lewanda I think you should check OP's latest response, it's clear what she was putting across.. I don't believe you can state you're right, as it's your opinion. But you do you, love.

If you are planning to be married some day what about hyphenated last name his first than yours and if you change yours you dropmur last name from hers. I think thats kinda meeting in the middle but you and him need to agree.

When I found out I was pregnant, my partner abandoned me. Now that he’s had a change of heart, he wants to be involved in our child’s life, but he’s made it clear he doesn’t see us as a family. Given that, I have no intention of giving my daughter his last name- not even hyphenated. She and I will be our own family. Ultimately, every situation is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. What matters is making the choice that feels right for you.