I feel bad . . .

Sounds like your insecure and honestly she can’t be that special to you otherwise you’d want her in your wedding party. Sounds like you’re now trying to find excuses to justify not having her as a bridesmaid. If she prioritises friends etc etc then just don’t have her as a bridesmaid, her being pregnant is irrelevant

Sometimes we feel bad for a reason. Sometimes it’s because our behavior is not okay, and it’s a flag to show us what we need to change. It’s actually not okay to not want your cousin at your wedding as a bridesmaid just because she’s very pregnant. Not okay at all. It’s time to work on your own insecurity. Try not to blame yourself or anything, but definitely don’t let this behavior continue. If possible, work on it with a therapist.

It sounds like the second part of your message might be related to the first. For example, she could have been distancing herself because of other things you’ve said or done, and you may be unaware. Could be time for a talk.

I mean, it’s your big day. You pick who gets to attend the wedding and who gets to stand by your side. That being said—it’s a bit silly that you think a pregnant woman will take attention away from you. Also, what happens if one of your brides announces a pregnancy once you already asked her to be a bridesmaid. Is she not allowed to stand by your side? Or will she be able to be a bridesmaid depending on how far along she is? Because to ask your bridesmaids to NOT get pregnant until you’re married would be bat shit crazy and weird. I’m also think you’re possessive of her. She’s allowed to have other friends and see them more than you. Being family doesn’t mean you’re her #1 bff and her only priority. And I agree, you’re not that close if THIS is what I took for the relationship to fall apart. Your relationship has crumbled and you found an out to not have her as a bridesmaid. Fine. Be grown and just tell her. Not to shit on your big day, but she’s got bigger fish to fry

She’s about to be a new mom. And a single mother. I know her mind is not focused on taking the spotlight away from you on your wedding. I promise it’s not.

Damn, y'all really came for me. I'm not a bad person for not wanting her in MY wedding. And no I wouldn't tell any bridesmaid not to get pregnant, thats ridiculous . As I said, she's probably not gonna give 2 shits if I don't ask her to be in it, since she's got her own stuff going on. The one thing she did tell me is she's been feeling overwhelmed and I get that, but when she blows me off and then I see her posting that she's doing all kinds of stuff it doesn't feel good. And yes I know she doesn't HAVE to do anything with me just as I don't HAVE to have her in my wedding. BUT it sucks that before getting pregnant she called me only when she needed me, but I'm going through sone stuff of my own and she blows me off. I know because she's my family doesn't make me a priority, but also just because I'm family doesn't mean she gets to be a bad friend and think "well she's family it's OK, she'll still be there for me" even though I always am there for her.

Trust me I have been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because she's pregnant, but also it just really sucks. It hurts. And I'm allowed to feel hurt that she's been blowing me off, when I'm always there for her. I've also been trying to help her by giving her baby items since she is not going to have the father of her baby in her life and not have his family either but she barely responds to me. Unfortunately, I don't have room for that stuff to be able to just hold on to it for her, my place is very small. But it's stuff that I know she will need and it's stuff that is literally on her registry, which of course she chose some expensive stuff and our family doesn't have alot of money. Like a $90 diaper bag ,when I have a gently used used one that literally is the same color and baby monitors with cameras that are $200 when I have those too, just an older model. It's so frustrating to hear someone complain and then they don't respond when you're trying to help them.

Maybe solidify a date and go from there. Your venue and date might not even be available. The pregnant part does sound a little shallow though. Why would her being pregnant take away from your day? It’s not like she’s announcing her pregnancy for the first time at your wedding. If you guys grew apart, that is a valid reason to not have her in your wedding. You might also consider how many groomsmen there will be and if you want to have the same number of bridesmaids.

How old is your cousin? If u already have baby stuff lightly used thats the same and she wants fancy brand new stuff.. pay for what u can. Just cause she's family doesn't mean * oh it's family is OK..* ppl telling u it's not OK to not include a cousin... ya it is. Either those ppl have great relationships or toxic ones and are brainwashed with * family is family* the hell it is..ppl get molested by family and other disturbing punishments and treated horribly as kids by parents etc any way family means nothing. I've seen enough Americans and other cultures on news use that to do what ever with no consequences. If u don't want her pregnant and over weight and its not the aesthetic u want.. that ok. If she not a good person any more or u fell out then its easier to not include her . It is what it is.

But if u guys were close and she got pregnant and u didn't want her there because it ruins the look u want or she can't fit the role... telling her would be better.. that would be painful to hear instead of waiting till end. if she not there for u and posting online.. she wants to be around other ppl, she has enough ppl that are there for her or with her ya? If she was single, miserable pregnancy, crying alone all time, emotional, distant depressed , in pain a lot, etc I get it but seems like she having fun.. she trying to not miss out on it or is hard to hang out with married ppl that have kids and those friends are single? I dunt know, just some thoughts. Maybe she single mum and delusional, or isn't completely bothered by it or maybe she tough and crying inside.. who knows, I don't. Some ppl fall apart and are emotionally sensitive and become highly sensitive in pregnancy and others are just bold and carefree and reckless and even more in pregnancy..u know her better.

Don't be bothered by ppl here. Some are pregnant, some are emotional, some are triggered by family blood? Some are tired and mad, and need to be blunt or they are trying to be logical? Who knows..u don't always get an even mix of comments. If once person picks a side, everyone else follows and jumps on it. Like attracts like, and everyone wants to be liked all time... few ppl can take heat. And maybe some lack emotion because they are divergent autistic etc etc etc..u started off by u feel bad... if u didn't.. I'm sure comment would be different eg. * not inviting pregnant cousin to wedding, we fell out, should I be bothered? * title. It reads different, then say we used be close and she posts online when she tells me she busy often etc. Be free .. it's not ur baby, not ur fault, she not who she is or was for while? She found a man, dropped whoever she wanted to drop, the guy dropped her and now she has a baby ,, she will not recover from this as same person, she become worse or humble, we never know.