Toxic MIL IT IS LONG SORRY!

I just need to rant to be honest! About 6 months ago me and my husband fell out with his mother. Me & MIL was driving with my kids in the car ( her grandchildren ) and she starts saying the most disgusting things about her son… ( my husband ) I was trying to focus on driving so I was trying to calm the situation down, we then stopped as we arrived at the destination and she says she’s not coming out for the day she is just going to go home… I say ok and then she starts screaming infront of the kids saying she’s going to pull me to the ground and stomp on my face… At this point I’ve shut the car doors to avoid the kids hearing anymore. When we got married the wedding was a surprise wedding but people were guessing and she was convinced that we was telling everyone about the wedding but her and FIL so once I’ve shut the kids doors she is screaming about this… I retaliate and say I don’t know what she is talking about… my SIL was driving behind us and has now parked a couple of cars down ( her daughter )… she stays out of things though. My FIL is an alcoholic and occasionally does drugs… When it was our child’s birthday we said he could come over with the rest of the family if he said sorry for the things he had said to me ( whole different situation but just as bad ) … He refused… because he refused he didn’t come over and he went on a 2 day bender and said it’s because he didn’t come round… ( he could have said sorry but it’s just a lie he goes on benders all the time but needed an excuse ) anyway, because he didn’t come round he then felt depressed and suicidal… he is an alcoholic and its common for alcoholics to feel like this anyway… ( which he does ) because he felt this way during the argument with MIL she said something that I can’t forgive… ( for context MIL AND FIL are not together because she couldn’t cope with the drink and drugs anymore ) … last year my uncle took his own life, which MIL knew… during the argument she said ‘you made ( FIL name ) feel sucidal is that what you done to your uncle’ … insinuating my uncle took his own life because of me and her son… ( he didn’t he suffered severely with mental health and was my world ) you can not forgive a comment like that… It’s now 6 months later and soon it will be BIL birthday with a family meal and MIL will be there but has said we are not welcome at the meal because She doesn’t like us… doesn’t like her own son… makes sense after all the horrible things she was saying about him though. But I am just so annoyed that we are not allowed to the meal!!! My brother in law wants us there! It’s fine for him to go to his dads every weekend and be around pissheads and worse but we’re not allowed to a meal just because she’s there. We don’t have to sit next to one another… just want to cut ties with the rest of the family so this doesn’t keep happening as being excluded makes us feel like shit.

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So sorry, the whole situation sounds awful. I think I’d suggest taking the BIL out for a meal just with you and your husband and children, sod her!

@Jade it’s just not the same…and this is the second birthday they’ve done this, last year they used him against us and I just know it’s going to keep on happening 😢

She’s a grown adult I’m sure she can hold her tongue for a few hours at the birthday meal. Very immature on her part. Family’s are stressful and sometimes it’s better to remove yourself and ur little family from that toxicity before it becomes worse. I’d say talk to your partner express ur concerns and feelings and see how he feels before making any decisions as it is his family so he might be hesitant to just completely jump ship from his family which is completely understandable on his part unless he’s completely done with it all. it’s a sticky one but hopefully you find peace 🫶🏻

I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, that sounds really rough and nasty for both of you to have to deal with. I’m sorry she made that comment as well, that’s awful. Is your BIL young? Asking because it seems like he is as you said they said you’re not welcome to the meal. If he’s an adult he definitely can make his own choices and tell his parents that it’s not their choice. Have you and your husband talked about it more since?

@Shannon he’s happy to have nothing to do with them and wanted to cut them off a long time ago, he knows they have caused nothing but trouble for us for years and just use us for money or when they want a takeaway paid for 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

@Dionne he is going to be 15, which is young obviously but he is only treated like a child when it suits them.. he has been left home alone for hours since he was 10, he is allowed to work in a pub on the weekend, he is also around drink and drugs when with dad… which MIL knows… he is not treated like a child at all but bring out the ‘parent card’ when it suits them. We wanted to take him for dinner last year and because we had fallen out with MIL and FIL they said no we’re not allowed :))) but he was fine to be around us when he needed a lift to a hobby because they didn’t want to do it ( husband was also going to the same place anyway but it’s not the point ) … they’re just horrible and I’ve taken there shit for years xx

Yeah I thought he was young but wasn’t sure. That’s literally neglect. Does anyone else know in the family that they allow him to be round that stuff? That’s crazy

@Dionne yes, everyone knows. They all stay out of it because no one wants to get involved. X

Stoppp the takeaway part took me out 😂🙈