in March 2022 Babies 🇺🇸

3rd baby advice

Looking for advice, suggestions, anything really… I have a 3 yr old and an almost 20 month old and have been seriously considering wanting a third child. I am going to be 28 soon and would prefer to be done with pregnancy by 30. Thing is, my husband got a vasectomy after our second was born and not really sure having another is an option… I have talked to my husband about it and he said he’d be willing to get it reversed but I’m nervous he will grow to resent me for getting it reversed or for wanting a third baby… I’m also scared because we have no village and limited child care but I cant shake the feeling of wanting 1 more child. Has anyone gone through with having that third baby and either loved it or didnt love it as much as they had thought? How did it impact your marriage? Really just looking for other moms who went through this or are currently trying to make that decision.. Thanks for sticking with me and reading all of this lol

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Every pregnancy is different, every child is different, but have you ever met a mother who would say that they wish one of their children weren't born?? My 3rd born is my easiest child. My 4th is my hardest. My 5th, the sweetest and silliest... I would be most concerned about your husband; was it his idea to get a vasectomy or did you ask him to? Does he want a third child, or is he going to resent you for wanting another? What if you conceive #4 on accident before another intervention is made? And for you, what if he goes through with the reversal, wanting #3 but you struggle to conceive and aren't pregnant by 30? Are you going to back out because of your age? Why are you against children after 30?

Ugh I appreciate your perspective @Sarah so thank you. exactly idk any mothers who would wish that. I think because of the love I have for my 2 littles I know I have more to give and it’s what makes me want another. Nothing against pregnancy after 30, full transparency I have much respect for women who have children later in life. I think at the time it is a very in the moment decision and we didnt think it through, unfortunately. I know he has expressed before not wanting more as our first too were not planned. I was told I couldnt even have children due to my medical history and truly a miracle they were born healthy. Didnt think that far about conceiving a 4th on accident which could very well happen given our first two. I have told him that if he gets it reversed I will get my tubes tied. I had an appointment earlier this year to actually meet with a new doctor and talk about it. I canceled due to the feeling of wanting another and have been going back and forth since.

Before getting yours tied, do have open conversations with women who've been through it.. there's a LOT that's not talked about from the medical perspective. I can't speak to it as I've not gone through it nor will I (beliefs) but I've been in mom groups and heard so many who say they wouldn't have, had they known.

I also appreciate the insight on that so thank you🙏🏼