Men

Even when i'm next to him xx

What's everyone's explanation to no?

Eugh. My thoughts are that it is disrespectful to do it next to you! We have needs, I get that, but he should do it in the shower or something!

@Louise i agree! he's at work atm but im going to ask for a chat without either of us taking it the wrong way x

If he wants to get off o well I work nights so what esle can he do if I'm not home

Does he have some sort of addiction? To multiple wanks through the night and in a morning seems really excessive. I would honestly tell my partner straight up if he kept doing this!! Do you guys have sex or does he just wank alot? Is he watching pirn whilst doing it or just wanking? Sounds like he has an addiction

@Becky We did go through a rough part where he was having wanks watching other girls, i made it very clear that i don't like it and he did stop. I don't know i just think it's weird to be having a wank eg at 1am ,3am then when he wakes for work! We do have a good sex life, i will be mentioning it to him today about it and how i find it weird that he wanks as soon as he wakes up in the night x

Disrespectful especially if I’m willing. Like hello? 👋 but be careful a lot of men have shame in it, it is often an addiction. My husband when we first started dating broke down when I confronted him but he showed me everything, even things I didn’t know about and asked for help.

wtf…his wanking next to you? I’m sorry but that would make me feel really uncomfortable. Each to their own but that’s just weird for me, especially if lying right next to me. And I can understand waking up in the middle of the night a bit horny but then your there …

@C 🩷 i feel the same, so uncomfortable and find it so rude especially when his girl is lying next to him, it usually wakes me up aswell when he's wanking. We did go through a stage where he was watching porn and looking at other girls, happened several times for him to know i was serious about what i meant and he hasn't done it since so i don't want to sound controlling like he can't wank but just have respect

Multiple times during the night? Who has the energy for all that

@Elizabeth exactly my point, he said "it helps me get up of a morning" sounds like a typical man!!!

I also said can i ask a question without it getting taken the wrong way... i feel like he's totally took it the wrong way xx

There’s no right or wrong way to put it. His literally wanking multiple times next to you. That’s just pure weird and uncomfortable like wtf, even if I found out my partner was doing it and I walked in on him I’d be like wtf are you doing, am I not good enough that you need to bust your load again 😂😂😂 I might be different but it’s just weird and I would not be happy

Just going to point out that performing a sexual act in front of someone without their consent is not only a violation, it's a form of assault 🤷🏻‍♀️ I agree that it seems an excessive amount in itself so there's probably an issue there that needs addressing but that aside, if you're not consenting to him doing it next to you in bed then he needs to be taking himself off to the bathroom or something

I know mine just doesn't, we just have sex and he's against porn use. Personally, the behavior you're describing would absolutely irritate me to hell.

As a tired parent I wonder how he has the energy and whether he actually shares the childcare and house work with you or has an easy ride

Now i've mentioned it, i'm in the wrong? i said can i ask something without it turning into something" it's now all my fault

@Tiffany oh i'm very irritated! he's at work currently but will be getting a piece of my mind once he's home! Tbh i was usually the one in the wrong with things like this but i can proudly say im right

Does he jack.off at work too?? Lol but no, that's wrong. Is it some power trip for him? If he knows you wake up/are aware, why doesn't he go to the bathroom? Initiate sex? (Some people don't like being woken up though) It's just obnoxious

More than once a day seems a bit obsessive? Who needs to wank that much. Seems very bizarre.

Some men just have really high sex drives (my man is one of them lol) but he tries to get whatever he can from me before resorting to wanking. And I know he does this too, but NEVER next to or in front of me. He would just try and get it from me then lol. That's odd he does it so excessively in such a short period and literally doesn't feel weird knowing you are right next to him. Maybe he is having wet dreams and has to crank one out to complete?? Either way, get up and go to the bathroom! You need to just set boundaries and expectations for him. Like if you are OK with him waking you up once to initiate sex or something let him know to do this instead if he's super horny. If you aren't interested, let him know he needs to go to another room to do that. Tell him it turns you off end of story.

@Jen see this is what i want! why wank when ur girlfriend is next to you? i thought the same about wet dreams, even that makes me feel so uncomfortable, what is he thinking about when he's having a wank? Tbh i'd rather him wake me up than me waking up seeing him having a wank

Did you tell him you are OK with him waking you instead? And ask him why he doesn't? Maybe you can even pleasure him every now and then like a BJ if he's too tired. Not every time though lol. Find a balance. Just let him know regardless he needs to go in another room if he's going to wank it because it's super big turn off for you and is going to ruin your intimacy if he cares at all about that!

why does he need to do it multiple times? and why right next to you? does he do that instead of having sex with you? that would give me the ick

Honestly i was so relaxed when i brought it up! he now isn't talking to me, i seem to be wrong xx

Nah sounds like he’s being defensive

Maybe that's the problem, lol. Don't be relaxed about it. Let him know it's fucking weird and he needs to stop doing it! Like why?? What women would be OK with that? Is he not right in the head? Your not asking him to stop wanking just not right next to you waking you up! Wtf

Like what would he do or say if you just had sex and then your touching and pleasuring yourself … or if he woke up multiple times in the night and you was pleasuring himself? Pretty sure he would have a lot to say

@Elizabeth Exactly what i'm thinking!!

He’s being so disrespectful & strange

Still not talking, he won't speak to me! he packed a bag to leave today but ended up coming back

We haven't really had a good ride since having our kids so i have been trying to stay calm like i did in this situation, he packed a bag today but couldn't find our spare remote because our toddlers had hold of it! (he couldn't play his ps5 without it). Also said he wants a break then see what happens, This impression would tell most people it won't end well. I've got no much other than he needs space and it isn't over, so space i will give him and potentially stay with my mum for afew days. I don't understand why it's turned into something when i stayed calm about it all xx

Sounds like he is trying to manipulate or gaslight you into thinking you are the crazy one for thinking this is odd behavior instead of addressing it. The fact he literally doesn't understand you simply don't want him doing it right next to you especially when it's so excessive and waking you is concerning. Partner or not....it's violating to do when you explicitly told him you don't like it and he keeps doing it. Creepy. Does he respond this way to you about most things? It seems like a very dramatic response.