Sexually deprived
Hey all! I am kinda stuck with what to do. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 years. I’m 24 and he is 33. We have a 19 month old and I am about to have our second.
Both of our sex drives have been really high since we met, but since I had our first we haven’t lived together so will kinda just get it when we can. We’re moving into our home within the next couple of months. The last few times he has seen me he’s rejected sex and head (he usually loves head) despite us not having seen each other since 2 weeks before each time. He used to jump on me when we finally saw each other. Granted we have kids now, but sometimes I can’t even get a kiss from him.
He’s got every excuse under the sun, he’s ‘old’ now, no testosterone, he’s tired, he feels unworthy because he couldn’t help get us a house until now. He frequently switches between these reasons.
I consider myself an attractive woman, even whilst heavily pregnant 🤣 I always make an effort for him.
I’ve asked him straight up to talk to me and be honest about what’s going on. I’ve cried and even told him I’m feeling neglected. He will not open up whatsoever and says all the excuses as above.
He says he loves me more than he ever has, he says he puts me on a pedestal and is in awe at the mother I am. I know he loves me, but it feels like he only loves me as a mummy to his kids now, not as an intimate partner. I know which is more important, but sex helps me to feel vulnerable and connected.
Since he rejects me now, I feel less open with him, I now hide when I get undressed and turn to my family for emotional support rather than him. He really feels like a stranger to me given that we barely see each other and we don’t have intimacy either.
When your man doesn’t care, where do you go from that point? It’s silly to end a relationship with no sex and no will to work on it, but is it though? I’m terrified he’s either cheating or doesn’t find me attractive anymore and I don’t want to suffer when I find out the truth after months of hoping.
That sounds so tough! I'm not suggesting you straight up leave him, I appreciate it's more complicated than that especially with 1, soon to be 2 children, however I will say that the main reason I left my ex was a lack of intimacy of all kinds (aside from hugs and a few kisses/pecks now and then) and no effort from him to help the relationship 🫠 sex and intimacy aren't the most important things in a relationship, but they're SO important and honestly they're a valid reason to break up. A lack of intimacy spirals so much over time and ends up impacting everything. It sounds like you've already started disconnecting from him and the relationship and that's so so difficult to come back from, especially if you're the only one fighting for your relationship. But it also fucks with your self esteem and ultimately mental health over time. Obviously it's your life and only you can choose your next move, but it's not silly at all IF you chose to end things because of this 🫶🏻