Anyone else feel miserable from being covered in spit up 24/7

I often feel guilty when I compare myself to other mums regarding leaving my baby. Whether it's with my husband or the grandparents, I feel so much happier when she's with them. I see other mums cry and say how much they miss their babies, not me. They babysat her for a full day since we were both in a wedding party and it was pure bliss (other than pumping all day). I realized I think a big part of why is she's so reflux-y it's insane. We do more feeds than most (with less oz) to help with the throw up. And during all those feeds the 2 hours after is throw up city. I hold her very still after feeding but it does not matter. I get thrown up on, sometimes projectiles, so much. I'm constantly wet, covered in filth. And I just feel disgusting 24/7. I want to put clean clothes on and know they will stay clean for a few hours. It's just another thing that adds to the sensory overload. Just looking to vent 💕