in June 2020 Babies 🇺🇸

Is this normal?

I have a 3 yr old attending preschool, he started a couple days ago. He’s having a REALLY hard time adjusting, his meltdowns seem very extra. He screams kicks runs from me(cause he thinks I’m gonna force him into the school), he tells me he’s scared and please don’t make me go. Now alarms went off in my head when he started saying these things but my mommy Instinct is telling me he’s fine, he’s not being mistreated or anything. I just think he’s having a very hard time adjusting because he’s very spoiled and he doesn’t like being told no or being told what to do, I also feel he’s having major separation anxiety because he’s never been away from me, I can count on 3 fingers the amount of times he’s been away from me for longer than an hr. I just don’t know what to do he’s been in school only 3 days and today he’s home with me because I couldn’t force him to go 😭. I’ve prepared him for school for months leading up to it and he was so excited, every day he would wake up and ask is it school yet. But now that he’s actually going to school he doesn’t wanna go. His teachers are telling me it’s pretty normal and he’ll get used to it, but I just feel so bad making him go I feel it’s traumatizing him. Any suggestions? Have any one dealt with anything like this before ? Even if you haven’t dealt with it if you have a child in school what do you feel works for them to help them transition?

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It gets better. When my little dude started last year it was not pretty. It gradually got better as the weeks went on. Same thing again this year, but he adjusted much faster this time. Best thing to do is not linger when you drop them off. Out of sight, out of mind is real!

My son started at a private preschool when he was 2.5 and he cried every day for 2 months at drop off. He would start whimpering as soon as we pulled up. His teachers timed how long he would cry and texted me updates. My son is now 3, like all of our kids are now, and he is in the public school preschool. He cried everyday for like two weeks, but his teacher and the aids assured me that he was having good days. He usually runs to his teacher now as soon as he sees her. Some days are hard. Yesterday, he threw a huge fit in the parking lot. He just wasn’t ready to go. He wanted to bring a toy with him and he couldn’t. Eventually, he calmed down and was thrilled when an aid came to take him to his classroom. It gets better.

I just took my son out of school. Feel free to message me and I will give you all the details. Way too many to share on here. I don't agree with the view point of "let them tough it out" or "it'll get better". For some kids, this may be accurate but every child is different. If you were sending him primarily for socialization & have child care, take him out!

This can be tough for any kiddo. What I would do is (1) give it some time to see how he adjusts. It can take a few weeks. (2) when you drop him off, avoid saying things like "it's okay " or "you'll have fun". Instead help him feel heard by saying "You're nervous to go to school, huh? I get that. It's a new place and it can take a little time to adjust. But, I will be here when you get done and I'll be soooo excited to see you!" And then drop him off. You could also plan with him a fun thing to do when you get home so he has something to look forward to and talk about that when you are on the way to school. He's scared. It's a new place. It makes sense even if you've talked about it before. Just validate his feelings and let him know you will be there for him later. ❤️

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