I’m I selfish ?
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No you're not selfish. You can choose to have your baby however you want to. It's your body. Your choice.
Not selfish at all. You’re the one giving birth, you decide how it’s done!
I absolutely wouldn’t want another induction. Assuming I have a second child I’ve also said I would prefer an elective c-section. Maybe if it hasn’t happened naturally by around xx weeks I’d get a section booked in. You’re entitled to not want surprises - you are the one that fully experienced it last time! Can you and your husband talk openly and honestly about your preferences? I’d like to think he accepts the choice is ultimately yours… 🤞
Not selfish and ultimately it's your body so completely your choice but I can see why he is expressing a preference, a vaginal birth does have some benefits to the baby over csection. Depends if he's pushing the issue or just trying to discuss it.
I've had one failed induction emergency section under GA then 2 planned csections and I'd take my planned ones all day long it's a enjoyable experience when it's planned xx
It’s your body. It’s important that you feel confident in whatever birth you are aiming for - whether that’s VB or CS.
It’s your body! He does not know what it feels like to go through any of this respectfully
He should be supportive of whatever you choose. I'm trying for vbac after an emergency C-section a year ago but my husband is taking a month or two off work and I know he would support me if I chose another C-section. I don't think he's happy to see you in pain, maybe he's more worried about you being in pain with the longer recovery
Um what? What is he reason for wanting you to have a VBAC? Like, what does it have to do with him?
Why on earth is he pushing for anything relating to YOUR body, that goes against what YOU want? As others have said it's your body and entirely your choice. Yes it's his baby too but his role in this is to advocate for you and ensure (as much as he can) that both you and baby are happy and healthy. It doesn't sound like he's doing that at all. Sure, he's allowed to have a preference but he shouldn't be pushing that on you and ultimately he needs to support your wishes.
Each day men continue to prove how stupid they are! Get the c section mama!!!!
I know after my emergency I’d be very likely to go for elective (but we’re having no more kids), certainly you’re not selfish. Maybe try and understand his motivation and explain the greater benefits as you see them? Your body! Your choice!
Absolutely not selfish. Your body so you get to decide how you give birth. Why is he so invested in a vbac?
It’s weird that your husband has a preference for how YOU give birth. Your the one carrying the child you get to pick how to bring the child into this world
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What on earth, pleading for a vb?! If he could have it himself fair enough but it’s you that has to go through all the risk and pain! Pay no notice and do what you want to do, he’ll just have to suck it up. If anything he is being selfish, not you!
What’s his reasoning behind wanting you to have a VB so bad?? As long as your baby gets here healthy then why does it even matter to him
Your body your choice, absolutely not his choice how you give birth
Not selfish at all!! My first was an emergency section and I'm planning my second csection too .. we're giving birth, we get to decide.. seems odd that your husband has such a strong preference
Not selfish. It is you who has to go through it, not him. I feel people need to understand there are many extra benefits for baby in particular if successful with VBAC. So i will go out on a limb and assume thats why the father has an opinion on method of birth.
Um. Tell him the next time he gives birth, he can feel free to do it vaginally.
I can't fathom why he should have any say over what happens to your body.
Men have noooo clue. Some people feel like its the easier way out. But its whatever is best for you at the end of the day
Not selfish at all! Tell him you'll be tighter longer and when you're old you shouldn't have to worry about urinary incontinent issues {peeing on yourself} 👀🤔
Not selfish, if this was a poll I would predict 100% votes! Love the comments too 🥲
It’s your body! There’s nothing selfish about it. It’s your decision and yours alone. I’m curious, what would be a partner’s reason to request VB over CS??
i’m having elective c section for many reasons, but it’s odd that your husband is keen on you having a stretched out vagina when it’s your body and choice.
Not selfish at all. My husband wanted me to have a VB but I told him I find it weird for the man to have a preference on how he wants me to give birth with no medical reasoning other than he just prefers it. He eventually realised where I was coming from…and I had my c section. I find it SO odd when non birthing parents are the ones wanting to choose the birthing process. Unless there’s an actual medically important reason to prefer one over the other.. why would he want to choose if not for malicious reasons?
He is selfish for pushing you to give birth a certain way when he isn't the one going through it and also didn't have to go through the trama of the first birth leading to a C-section. Talk to him about risk of uterine rupture during a vbac as well.
Respectfully, it’s not your husband’s choice. My husband was concerned about me getting an epidural with our first. I wanted one and one of our friends was further along and he got freaked out when the friend had an adverse reaction. I felt very strongly about using one and we compromised on me going for as long as I could without one but ultimately my choice. I got one when I was 6 or 7cm which ended up being a good thing. In your case, I think there’s some misconceptions for most men about c sections, etc and vaginal birth is the “default” way in that vaginal birth is generally what people think of when one’s pregnant. Like others have said, maybe try to understand where he’s coming from and his reasoning, concerns, etc. however, I think (not sure this is accurate because I read it on the internet so take it with a grain of salt) that VBACs in general are considered riskier for complications and can make it harder to carry a future pregnancy if that’s something you’re considering.
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Plus, like you said, there’s more control and less stress in the planning process and, for me (who has anxiety) I want to have the most controlled birth experience possible. I also had a traumatic birth and am scared and, for me, c section is the healthiest route in terms of physical and mental risk. Maybe pitch it to your husband that way? If that’s accurate for you, that is. What does your provider say? It sounds like maybe more information might be helpful? But also, it’s 100000% your choice, if you want a c section and your provider is on board, I say c section. It’s your body, your health, and your recovery. You need to do what’s best for you.
Hey please book that elective C-section. He has no right to any say at all on your birthing method. Tell him your body, your choice and you are doing what is safe for you and the baby. You are not selfish he is being unreasonable and inconsiderate. Wish you all the best.
While it’s your choice in the end, I understand his point of view as well. Depending on the way you’re giving birth, it will affect you and you will affect him. Depending on the birth method, your body will be different, your recovery will be different. It’s an experience for both of you as both of you are parents not just you. The most important thing is for both you and your baby to be alive and well, if C-section is the only way to give birth safely then sure go for it. If you are safe either way then you have the chance to choose. Speak with him more and then make a decision.
I had a traumatic labour with my first which ended in an emergency c section. During my second pregnancy I flip flopped between an elective or a VBAC. My partner really wanted me to go for an elective section. It absolutely terrified him watching what I had to go through in labour and then being wheeled off for surgery and the rush and panic and our son needing oxygen after birth and all. Throughout most of my second pregnancy, I was pretty sure I’d try a VBAC again and despite his fears, he accepted that it was my body and my choice and he’d support me. Turns out, the closer I got to my due date, the more bad memories came up from my labour and I’d get very anxious and panicky about labour to the point where I wasn’t sleeping etc so I ended up opting for an elective sections. Which I now know was the right choice for me at the time. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.
Girl this is YOUR body that your baby is growing in, you have every single right to choose how you want to deliver ! Discuss with your midwife and he doesn’t have a say at all ❤️ sending love x
Why is he so keen on the vb?