Has anyone experienced ppd?

I felt no connection to my child. I felt eh about everything. I had no desire to do anything other than what I had to do. I always looked for a way to escape and just distract myself with my phone. My husband is the one who suspected it and asked me to be evaluated. I got started on meds and it made an obvious difference

Pt. 1: I started getting depressed 7 months postpartum. It’s when I started feeling alone, unseen, forgotten about, and just SAD. I knew I loved my baby and my husband but it was a feeling of sadness I couldn’t shake off. Then it disappeared and I felt like myself again 2 months later. Then the depression hit again and it kept going on and off for the following year. I knew I needed help and my husband would tell me to do what I felt I needed to do, but I never seeked professional help. And honestly, I regret it. I had a lot of postpartum rage too which was scary. I shattered my phone once because I threw it at a cardboard box filled with random stuff. I started taking care of myself more though. I started eating healthier, taking vitamins, drinking hot Saffron tea (good for depression & anxiety), and I started prioritizing a hobby I truly enjoyed. It didn’t “fix” me cause my hormones are still so unbalanced right now, but it has improved my mental state a lot.

Pt. 2: My next focus is my hormone levels and then I’m going to look for a therapist that my insurance can cover. I still need help cause I’m nowhere near feeling like 100% myself again, but I can say I’m at a good 50%. All this to say, please try to get the proper help necessary for you. Don’t wait like me because so many fights with my husband could’ve been avoided if I had done it sooner. I would’ve saved myself from so much self inflicted pain and discouragement. You deserve to feel happy and healthy and yourself again or feel like the best version of yourself. You deserve to enjoy your baby and motherhood for all the great things it offers rather than being stuck under this dark cloud. 🫶🏻

It's awful, please talk to someone about it...your partner, a therapist, anyone. I felt completely and utterly alone and as soon as my husband made me talk about what I was feeling, it helped. Know there is nothing wrong with you, and it absolutely will pass.

I feel like my partner is currently not emotionally/mentally available for me to talk to right now because he has so much going on himself which makes things really hard.. anytime I try it just leads to a lot of unnecessary arguments which stresses me out even more Maybe I really should just go see a therapist because I’m so scared of making irrational decisions that I’ll regret.. like just walking away one day. Leave the house and not come back because I couldn’t take it 😞😞

Please do not wait for your PPD to just pass. Your body was left depleted after birth and you need care. There are resources available. Have your OBGYN check on your hormones especially your vitamin D levels, estrogen & progesterone levels. Research shows low progesterone can trigger PPD. Lacking vitamin D can also trigger PPD and a simple supplement can help. I agree with seeking Therapy. I would also check out postpartum.net they have awesome support groups and ressources. If you also recently got on birth control, I would check with your OBGYN that it’s not the culprit. Lack of sleep can also make PPD worse. I know sleep can be hard with a newborn but look into having more support in that area as well. Magnesium, lemon balm tea, motherwort tea, B vitamins, red raspberry leaf tea, seamoss & a nutrient based diet can help improve your mental health as well.

Uhg I'm so sorry you're feeling this was and you're not alone!! I had my second in December and had similar questions. When my second was born my first was going through some gnarly illnesses (hang foot and mouth and a double ear infection). Going to the hospital to give birth I was devistated that I couldn't be with my first born to help her through. Coming home from the hospital I knew I felt devistated that I still couldn't help her but also mixed with feelings of wishing she'd just stay away from me and new baby (hand foot and mouth is sooooo contagious). I had to listen to hear scream for hour and hours on the other side of our bedroom door with my husband. And at the same time I was figuring out our new baby boy alone. We were very much divide and concure due to the circumstances. It was the most difficult time in my entire life. I share this because I think it's healthy to admit you're going through a very very very hard time. Bringing a new baby (part two below)

Into this world is so hard and doing it with a toddler seems impossible. It's HARD! and you're doing it! And probably figuring a lot of stuff out alone this time too. I definitely had feelings of wanting to quit. I had feelings of "this isn't worth it". I had so much resentment for my husband who I felt like wasn't taking care of my toddler correctly. I cried every day listening to my toddler cry. Slowly but surely things got better. I never asked for help and I should have. It took me 2 months to dig out of the hole but I feel much better today, 5 months post partum. If you want to talk I'm always here! Having two is such a huge adjustment and you're not alone!!