Discipline

I wouldn’t hit, for many reasons. But if you are trying to teach him not to do exactly that it’s very confusing for you to not practice what you preach. I would have door chains installed high on your doors going to the outside so that he is safe and rather than anything physical, practice a big booming voice to stop him in his tracks. After a few times he will know you mean business. This is tough but you’ll get through it!

Hay Queen! First I want to say... you are bossing at being a mum and keeping your cooool!!. With the doors... I've had the same issue with my 4 year old. He tries to open any..and I mean any door handle he can. So at home we have high door latches. I'll up load a picture fr reference but it's saved his life and my sanity!. The tantrums do sound like just that....tantrums. my son is bad for them. But as long as he's in a safe area. Let him have it out!. The head banging is his way of getting it out.... no it's not good for him but once it hurts him...he will stop. Maybe keep alll glass out of his sight or reach! Or change to plastic. Sorry your dealing with this x

Firstly, I would definitely be seeking help if you’re concerned about language skills. Secondly, he’s emotionally disregulated and has no impulse control. He can’t stop himself doing things even if he knows they’re wrong. You need to create as much of a “yes” environment as possible - don’t leave glass out for him to break. Don’t fill tables with stuff for him to push on the floor etc. Don’t have front or back doors out of the house he can open himself. Thirdly, please don’t hit your child. However gentle you think it is is irrelevant. By doing this you are trying to control him through fear. Same with time outs - all you are doing is isolating him. It is not your job as a parent to control your child. It is your job to bring up an emotionally healthy and capable human being. You need clear, firm and consistent boundaries and expectations. It’s okay for him to not like them and tantrum. You can acknowledge and validate, coregulate with him, but the boundary must stay xx

@Kate I’ve tried the voice thing he just laughs. Honestly he just laughs at the pops too! There’s been MANNNNYYYY times I’ve popped him or his dad popped him and he laughed

Of course he laughs. Children laugh out of fear.

@Blair we don’t leave out glass he will literally climb to reach a cabinet to open. I don’t leave doors open he can unlock them so even if I lock them he will just unlock and open them and how do I set boundaries with someone who doesn’t listen? Not being snarky I’m genuinely curious bc even if I tell him to stop doing anything he doesn’t he will look at me and continue to do it until I pop his hand away from what he’s touching so how do I set the boundaries when if I tell him no or stop he continues to do it

This is exactly what I mean - you aren’t creating a yes environment. He is 2 - where are you when he is starting to climb a cabinet? You should be there able to stop him. Failing that you need baby locks on the cabinets and a proper lock on your door that he cannot reach. Why would you expect him to be able to control his emotions when you, his parents, are not able to control your own?

@Blair idk what child u have met that laughs out of fear but that’s not true in the slightest for ANY child that is TWO that I’ve met. I 1-2 year old if they are scared they are GONNA cry

This is at the top of most my doors. And it's saved my sanity .. my keys... all kinds of situations.

Laughter is a very well documented fear response.

@Blair so I’m supposed to never take a shower, never use the bathroom, etc? He climbs FAST. he can climb a cabinet and open in in 10-15 seconds! Less than the time it would take me to wash my hands after using the bathroom! Let’s not act like kids don’t move fast when they wanna do something they know they shouldn’t and not able to control my emotions is CRAZY!😂u can literally just head out of my comments bc 1 i asked for advice not judgement. 2 did u not see all the methods i tried BEFORE popping? Tell me u wouldn’t be at ur wits end if ur son kept breaking glass and biting, and scratching he literally climbed my bed multiple times THIS WEEK and bit me and his dad out our sleep. So once again if ur not gonna offer advice see ur way out🥰 also as I said I used to use his playpen but now that he just climbs out of it even if I put him in it for just a second to use the bathroom I turn around he’s already out of my room. I live in an apartment I can’t just change the doors or the locks.

I am offering advice. You just don’t like it. Like I said - baby proof. Baby gates to different rooms, locks on cabinets.

Me personally I’m for spanking some kids absolutely need it! I don’t blame u for resorting to that, some people have never had to deal with difficult children before and it shows. I would definitely take him to a specialist if he’s not talking and get that checked out. Maybe also see a behavioral specialist as well? It could be normal toddler behavior or something underlying. It’s honestly consistently, stick to ur discipline, when mom and dad say no, no means no and that’s it! He definitely needs a space where he CAN destroy things or be crazy. He might also just be feeling frustrated constantly having boundaries. Have ur husband wrestle him A LOT! And have him run around the yard or do dances in the living room. Boys have a lot of energy that just needs to be released and you want it into good things like running and playing. He’s just not understanding where to exert all his energy so he’s putting it into bad behavior. Show him better and more useful ways to use his energy.

@Leelee can u send me a link to that?

@Blair and if that was the case why would we try to do anything to make our kids laugh then? Cuz how would we distinguish a fear laugh from a positive one?

@Blair like I SAID he climbs. A baby gate WOULDNT work. It’s not that I don’t like ur advice. U didn’t give me ANY advice that would help me with MY son. Just general advice. I told u he climbs so what makes u think a baby gate would work?😂and u legit said I was failing and then said I can’t control my emotions as if I just immediately started beating him

@Justine thank you! They already wrestle but I’ll tell him do it more😂😂he had a space but my sisters house got condemned after the 2 hurricanes in Florida so she’s living with us in his room rn😔😔

Is there any way you could let him play in dirt or even pull grass? That would probably help a lot

Or even get shower crayons and let him color in the tub with no water for a bit

@Justine not really I live in an apartment and ppls dogs pee and poop and they don’t pick up after them😔I’m hoping to move by August tho so if I do I will take that advice into account

@Justine that’s actually smart! I’ll def try that

If you are hitting your child you are showing them you cannot control your emotions, because you can’t. Regardless of whether you “tried” other things first. As I said, locks on cabinets. High up locks on doors. Have boundaries and clear expectations. Acknowledge and validate. Coregulate. It works, if you can put the effort in. But you do need to understand he doesn’t have impulse control.

I would look into homeschooling activities on google, tik tok, etc. and maybe see if there’s anything you think he might like. He’s still learning it’s important to discipline but also have grace. He’s really just full of energy 24/7, maybe taking him to a local indoor playground might help too. Sometimes boys need to see other big boys being crazy it humbles them lol

I believe it's just a white door latch on amazon.. there's a few of them. I can't send you the link as your incognito

1. Emotional Overlap in the Brain Fear, surprise, and joy are all processed in similar regions of the brain (like the amygdala). In high-stress situations, your brain might release a mix of signals that cause unexpected emotional responses, like nervous laughter. Laughter can act as a coping mechanism — a way for your body to release tension and diffuse a threatening or overwhelming situation. This is why people often laugh: in awkward moments after a near-accident during scary movies From an evolutionary perspective, laughter may serve to signal non-aggression or reassurance in uncertain or fearful situations. It’s like saying: “I’m not a threat, and maybe this isn’t so bad.”

@Blair the brain isn’t developed enough at that age for that reaction. And like I said even if that was true it’s NOT true for mine. My son will get his hand popped and then repeatedly do the thing to get popped over and over within seconds bc it’s funny to him😂if it was FEAR he wouldn’t be doing it again TO LAUGH

@Blair but in addition it might be a difference in cultures🤷🏽‍♀️

There is no point in responding any further because you are unwilling to listen to any advice. But as a last point: instead of fighting and arguing, do some basic research (AI google doesn’t count) and do the best by your child. Hitting your child is abuse and it is attempting to control them by fear. You will not bring up a stable and emotionally healthy child by parenting in this manner. Until you are able to control your own emotions (and by hitting your child you are out of control) you can not expect your child to behave in an appropriate way either.

Have you thought about getting your son tested for autism? Just the no speaking and throwing glass to eat it raised flags of autism let alone everything else you stated. I understand it’s frustrating but please please please get him assessed, because this isn’t just him doing it because it annoys you. Hitting your child is abuse and not a parenting tactic, all it’s going to do is make your child scared of you and that breaks any trust. You need to get professional help because what starts off as a little spanking turns into full on abuse

@Blair I have to disagree, spanking ur child is far from abuse. Discipline is quick and short. A pop on the hand or butt is acceptable. Abuse is breaking a child’s spirit, it leaves marks and trauma. Not all children need to be spanked but if you have not raised other children but your own then you have no space to speak on how children are disciplined. And I mean actually raised like other children were in ur care for 10+ yrs 24/7 not you babysitting for 2 hrs. Some of the best adults I know were spanked as kids and the worst adults I know never got a spanking in their life. And abuse is not a word you throw around lightly, that’s a serious accusation. If you don’t know someone personally or have been in their home you shouldn’t be saying their children are being abused. Becuz the reality is if CPS got involved those children will be put into an actual abusive home and develop trauma and it would be your fault. So maybe we shouldn’t call spanking abuse when it clearly isn’t.

@Justine literally! Cuz if anything my son abusing me 😂I done had a black eye, busted lip, and bruises from him biting, hitting, and scratching😂I wish there was someone I could report HIS abuse to😂😂

@Blair “attempt to control them by fear” is insane😂😂popping his hand to stop touching something after telling him no and stop is NOT abuse😂😂how else do I get him to stop touching stuff? I’d LOVE to hear ur advice😂😂bc just moving it he will climb to get it and just moving him away from him he will just keep walking over to it and touching it😂

Yeah girl I don’t like when people throw that word around. I’ve seen actually severely abused children in real life, it’s so heartbreaking! Some people don’t understand the life long lasting consequences of making a statement like that. It goes beyond CPS. If you feel your son needs to be spanked for something then do it. You sound like a good mom and I’m sure you wouldn’t take it to an extreme level.

@Justine I would never! It breaks my heart even having to pop him which is why I made the post in the first place bc I don’t wanna HAVE to pop him but idk what else to do

@Blair smacking your child is not abuse. I’m a teacher and have taken DCF courses on child neglect and abuse. That is not abuse. It’s discipline. You act like she’s leaving marks or hurting her child. Abuse is a really crazy thing to accuse someone of. And as a mom with a 2 year old exactly like hers, your suggestions of baby gates and child proofing, probably won’t work. Mine can get through ANY of that. Even the locks that go on cabinets she can open. So that doesn’t work for everybody.

Hey! Have you tried magnetic locks on cupboard doors? We had to put them on our bookcases when our little one was younger cos he started pulling all the things out 🫠 He didn’t speak until about 2.5 either cos he concentrated on all the physical stuff first so I get the frustration for both of you! It became a lot easier once his words started to come! If he’s a big climber have you given him something he can climb on instead? We ended up getting a pikler triangle and that helped a lot- when he started to climb we’d say “that furniture isn’t for climbing on but you can climb on this instead” and that helped quite a bit! It showed him what he could do rather than just being told no constantly! Same with biting “oh I see you want to bite something, you can’t bite x but why don’t we find you something you can bite”. I also found the head banging during tantrumming stopped when we didn’t make a thing of it either! We also left the room to “keep ourselves safe” when he hit/scratched x

@Gemma YES he finds a way through them no matter what! Also yes we gave him this couch that like transforms into things u can climb and he literally now just uses that to climb onto stuff

Why are they like this? 😂 he’s gonna love an escape room when he’s older isn’t he! I’m so sorry I don’t have any other suggestions!

@Gemma it’s okay one day he will either get older and grow out of these things or hopefully I’ll find solutions😂

Im sorry I didn't read all the comments, so I am not sure if this was mentioned or not. My 2 year old also doesn't talk as much as other kids his age. He has been in speech therapy since he was 18 months. Also I would highly suggest asking professionals like a doctor or therapist about all his behavior and ask them for suggestions and solutions. It really sounds like you need more help beyond asking on peanut and it may not be the best idea to just wait untill it gets better. In my opinion 2 years old is too young to understand time outs and in my opinion physical discipline is never ok in any situation.

Not going to get into the discipline debate but one thing I have found useful for my child is avoiding the word "no" and framing my instructions as positives. So instead of "don't climb the cabinet" I would say "keep your feet on the ground, please," or instead of "don't throw that," I'd say "we have to handle that gently", and help them. It works wonders for me. I read somewhere that toddlers don't fully grasp negatives until about 3 years of age, so while they do understand the word "no," they may not understand "don't." You can demonstrate this by holding a ball and a cup in your hand, and asking them NOT to point at the cup. They will almost always choose the cup. Also can't speak for the possibility of autism being a factor but the fact that he is not yet speaking at all could be a factor in his acting out. If he's having trouble communicating, that leads to frustration so he could be getting his frustration out that way.

Also, always react calmly - even if it's hard - because any emotional reaction, positive or negative, will make it a game. Laughing in young toddlers and babies IS actually very common, and it's not them mocking you or making fun of you - it's more akin to a nervous laugh when someone says something awkward and you don't know what to say. You are speaking in a different tone than you normally use and they don't really know what to do with it.

My son went through a phase like this too, it helps SO much to take them outside AS MUCH as you can handle. I mean all day if you can. Letting my son run and go crazy in an environment that allowed for it really helped him settle when he was at hom