in August 2021 Babies 🇬🇧

No filter

I know they're only 3, and my son does have a history of just blurting things out, but recently he's said a few things that have been very hurtful and rude. He has a key worker at nursery/preschool who is deaf and the other day my son was refusing to get in the car one morning. He said "I don't want to go to preschool because I don't like the teachers. I don't like (name) because he talks funny." I explained about deafness, and how because he couldn't hear properly he'd never learned how to say words properly. And that it was a disability, not something he'd chosen, and we shouldn't be rude to someone about something like that. Later that day we were talking about a character on a TV show who is black and my son said "his skin isn't like mine, his is poo coloured." Again I explain we all look different but it's not something to be rude to people about because no matter what we look like we all have the same feelings. I don't know if these comments are normal for this age or if it's something I need to address - obviously neither me or my husband are ableist or racist at home!

Show your support

Maybe something he's picking up at school from other kids? I would address it

I've grown up around kids with my Mum being a childminder, I will say it is normal, it is then noticing the differences between people, they don't mean it in a mean why they are just pointing out things they notice, you are doing the right thing by explaining

definitely address it as it happens like you are doing, but i agree with Kath i don’t think he’s meaning it maliciously or to be harmful, i think he genuinely is just noticing differences between people like the “poo colour” comment. however, not liking someone cause they talk funny (due to being deaf) is a bit mean but i’m sure he doesn’t understand fully xx

Yes my little boy is similar, he said he didn't want a boy he doesn't like touching his stuff with his 'black hands' obviously I was mortified but similar to you we explain about stuff as it comes up and hopefully it's a phase that doesn't last too long!!!!

Thank you all, I know he doesn't mean anything malicious with these comments. This is such an inquisitive age, and my son has always been quite perceptive/observant of people around him. I just don't want one of these types of comments to be said around other people where it could cause offence or reflect badly on him or my parenting!!

Maybe try addressing the underlying issues. Do you find it difficult to understand him? That’s ok, just ask him to talk slower. Pointing out that he’s deaf and that it’s rude will go over your LOs head. The poo comment is something he def heard from other kids, probably with racist parents. Switch it right away to ‘you mean chocolate colour!’ So if he says it in public no one judges you. Then talk about what colour your hands resemble, and look at different skin tones and how they all look and how we’re all friends. This age is about noticing, lying, exploring. It’s important as a parent not to judge and just correct without shaming.

I guess it’s normal. Only a few days ago we were waiting at the till in a shop while my girl pointed at the lady in front of us and loudly said „mummy I don’t like this lady“. 🫣🫣😂 she also said something about someone having a big belly a while ago and he heard it … 🙄🫣

I also don't think anyone with any comment sense or experience with a 3/4 yr old will judge you for the comments they make. I know I wouldn't x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌