AITA for throwing away gifts meant for my newborn?
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Who’s calling you ungrateful? Who’s seeing the things that you throw out?? I don’t open everything gifted to me or my son. If I don’t like it, or I don’t need another candle or blanket, I’ll regift it for others’ baby showers or bdays etc. He still has some unopened Xmas presents in his cupboard coz he’s spoilt and given SO much every year from his Uncles and Aunties so I don’t open everything he’s gifted either. Do what you need to do- donate, regift or throw out. Hubby never sees the things I throw out or donate.
Get your partner some stinky mouldy clothes and see if he’s happy to wear them😂 if I wouldn’t wear it I for sure will not be putting it on my baby either! I personally think it’s even more rude to gift someone baby clothes/toys that absolutely stink and have mould on! Second hand isn’t the issue it’s the state that the clothes are given in that’s the issue, if they were wearable after a wash it’s different but if they’re that bad even you wouldn’t donate them it’s saying something! If it gets mentioned at some point “ohh why isn’t x wearing ….” I’d just straight up say “oh we gave them a wash but they smelt very strongly of must and mould probably from the factory or storage so just to be cautious we’ve not been able to use them”! I hope you’re okay, not an asshole at all!!!xx
Shein/Temu isn’t advised for babies or pregnant mothers because of the high levels of harmful chemicals found inside and they don’t have fire regulations like we do. I would absolutely throw anything away from there and would be annoyed if anyone bought from there for me as well, ive made it known I won’t be accepting anything from there. Also yes would throw anything mouldy and gross away too. Surely everyone knows you only give on stuff in good condition?
It seems like everyone agrees with the principle of not using those items so maybe it’s about how you communicate that and set boundaries for the future? One safe item is better than 5 unsafe - when it comes to babies it really is quality over quantity so you just need a way to communicate that first to your partner and then to all your family (so no one feels singled out) - maybe ask chat GPT how to say it tactfully!
I agree with your choice. Donating would have been worse as you’d be subjecting an unknowing family to what isn’t a safe product. Your partner needs to have a convo with their family if they are upset about this.
Most of my and my baby clothes are from SHEIN so I definitely cant/wont speak on that , but if everything had a smell or mold why would anyone expect you to keep them? Nevertheless they shouldn’t have been given . Thats just basic curtesy not to gift items like that smh
About SHEIN, I'm a costumer, but I choose only 100% cotton clothes to my baby, never had a problem, but I did have problems with huggies diapers,, about what u should do...just keep the toys in a box... When u kid grow a bit, u can give it away and put the worses on the trash. Is someone ask u can say that saving the toys to another moment, ank keep saying that.
I don’t think you’re TA but how did they even know you threw them out?
If people buy something I don’t like, I throw it out or donate it. It’s the risk they take when buying something for me without asking first.
It’s not ungrateful why would people gift you safety hazards
Just to add to this convo, people always tell me, oh just hold onto it and put your child into it once or just take a photo with them playing with the toy once. No. Performative gratitude enforces the idea that the gifts were okay. They weren’t. Let’s model boundaries for our kids. You could say “we are so appreciative of you thinking of us! We’re trying to keep things simple and safe for the baby, so we’re being very selective about what we use. If folks ever want to gift something, we’d love to share a few ideas or a wishlist.”
I mean I woulda said I am donating everything even if I decided to throw away things that would’ve felt disrespectful to try to donate
Shein and the likes îs knows to have dangerous clothes, no way am I putting that on a child, even I wouldn’t wear things off there. Things that smell or look mouldy, absolutely they’re going in the bin! I’m not risking my child’s health over a stuffed toy. I have no issues with pre loved things, I mostly buy from thrift stores, but they have to be in a safe condition.