Legal advice

I have had a traumatic experience with children’s services and MARAC in 2023 upon separation where the children were removed from my care and placed in the sole care of our abuser. His abuse was never directly physical to me, but was severely psychological, emotional, sexual, involved using health services to control me (calling crisis services or attending appointments until I was misdiagnosed with a serious mental illness so I would both doubt the existence of abuse and also have no credibility whenever I reached out about it), damage to property, violence to our dog, threats and lots of intimidation. To the children it was mostly emotional and neglectful, however if I ever tried to leave or report him, he would become physical with them and increasingly mentally abusive to them so I would back down or become too mentally distressed to advocate effectively. My lack of credibility, mental deterioration at the time (CS came out to us because I presented to the hospital suicidal), along with his sudden false parental concern and displays of affection meant that (in the words of children’s services) I was the unsafe parent despite “allegations”. At the time I even admitted to them I needed time to recover and be protected from him, but requested the children be in my mum’s care so they weren’t exposed to an abusive parent. But I was dismissed and labeled as “paranoid”. I had to jump through hoops for 3 months while the children struggled at nursery and school with zero self-esteem and were bags of nerves, but they’ve come on leaps and bounds since and you’d never know they used to suffer so much. However, between 2024 and the events at the end of last year although we weren’t together, I was still willingly but unwantedly enduring financial abuse, harassment and control post-separation, and due to my fear of ever verbalizing it again, I had learnt to live with it to stop him from turning on the children again the way he did when I was first trying to leave.

In December last year, after months of really worrying behaviour and escalating abuse, I refused him the ability to have contact with the children due to recent disclosures made by both children involving events of physical harm, as well escalating emotional distress the children were exhibiting and the way they were speaking about myself and him upon returning from his weekend care ever since he found out that I have a new partner. After 3 months and the CMS increasing his payments he has filed a C100. A non-molestation is also being considered within the arrangement instead of separately as I had already applied for one prior to this to protect us. Upon doing this (although I have an understandable strong distaste for them) I called children’s services, disclosed everything, and they assured me that they had no need to open a case as long as I continued restricting contact.

My concerns on the run up to the hearing:

He had already ensured to begin taking the children on days out, heavily engaging in therapy and practicing new gentle parenting techniques and child focused behaviors as soon as he received a warning letter in October making him aware I was again finally reaching out to report his abuse. So was already ahead of the game despite continuing to emotionally and physically abuse and intimidate the children simultaneously.

He has always refrained from showing any signs of abusive or controlling behaviour in writing or responding in writing even if I’ve asked him to take up matters via text instead of calls or lingering around my home at handover. So examples of evidence I have so far are:

• A video recording where he was forcing himself on me and trapping me in his home which was entirely candle lit in the middle of the day (recorded just in case due to his erratic behavior at the time, had a bad feeling when I was led to believe he was handing over uniform from the weekend before, he had recently moved to the home across from mine. You cannot see us due to me holding the phone by my side, but can hear my protests, hear him scaring me, and see the room of candles).

-Evidence of him making false claims to Child Maintenance repeatedly

-My own documented log of events with dates and times

-Messages of me asking for him to text and not force verbal engagement and insisting on moving to parenting app so everything is monitored and admissible when he started getting more and more unpredictable

-School reports showing emotional and self esteem issues when the children were in his care and then recent ones showing the children excelling

-Me obtaining a domestic abuse support working for the children in January so they would get the tools they needed and also learn to recognise and disclose abuse by an unbiased third party so I could get help to protect them

-Written instances where I’ve disclosed abuse to different services over the years

-Times I have messaged him following any abuse, any concerns re. The children, or predicting and getting ahead of abuse on the usual events like Christmas or birthdays (however any response to abuse in writing was always cleverly avoided)

-There is probably more written evidence of him being nasty; threatening and intimidating me; controlling me; attempting to mentally harm me, between October 2025 and now than during the entire 8 years I’ve known him. Because I had never had the nerve to move on with my life so the moment he became aware of my serious relationship he became very erratic and at times has had total loss of the usual firm-composure he had and has lashed out or said things recklessly.

I am confident in my own evidence if it weren’t for how intelligent and calculated he is. I’m really concerned of how much weight they will give to his counter-allegations that are very clearly insinuating mental illness, and emotional and psychological harm to the children from myself. I know the strongest evidence he holds to support his false persona and self-victimization is his therapy and potentially statements from friends and family who he has reframed reality to. Because knowing him well, once cornered he will eventually say “yes I WAS abusive but look I’ve changed”. If I make statements regarding his use of therapy of the convenient timing of his child centered concerns and behaviors in order to pre-empt his arguments before CAFCASS base assessments to include his seemingly good behavior and active engagement (similarly to 2023) to counteract the risk he actually poses, will it come across as me being opinionated and making predictions? It took him all of a month of resuming contact with me after the CS involvement concluded early 2024 for him to begin the abuse again. And at this point, as much as I wish it weren’t the case, I cannot allow our children unsupervised exposure to him and trust that he will ever prioritize their wellbeing over his need to hurt me. And without sacrificing my relationship and my life I have built for me and the children, he will be unhappy, hateful, and extremely harmful. I understand it’s hard to get full parental responsibility, and I also don’t want my children to hate me for not allowing a relationship that they’re too young to see as abusive and abnormal, however my proposal to court will be to limit communication between them to text messaging through MyFamilyWizard which will be monitored at all times and limited to an agreed upon period of time per child a week. And upon conclusion of their therapy/support, should the worker approach me and express face to face is in their best interests, supervised contact centre for the foreseeable with an order outlining that he cannot apply to change arrangements for X amount of time.

We are currently in a property that is without any heating. We reported the issue in April and it was only in September, after hassling them that they said they are looking at different options and quotes to get it sorted. The house is full of damp and mould, which i believe has caused a problem with mould mites. They say they can't sort the mould until the heating is sorted. What are my rights here in a privately rented property? Can I negotiate the rent down whilst they are not maintaining the property?

Hi, my father passed when I was 3 and I was his next of kin. The court ruled I received everything however his parents (my grandparents) lied to the courts that he sold his stuff but we know this is a lie as I was recently in touch with his girlfriend at the time who they offered all of his stuff. She refused wanting it to go to me but I never saw anything. My grandparents have both now passed as it’s going through the estate but the will leaves everything to my aunt (she’s awful and a vile human and harassed me over my photo album when I was heavily pregnant last year and only left me alone when o gave birth) I know all his property is still in the house but I obviously do not have access. Is there anything legally or have I lost everything?

My ex proposed to me a year ago with a xmas card (already in the bin) and with a ring. He is now asking me for the ring or he will call the police and take me to court.

Legally speaking, do I have to give it back to him? I consider that a gift, cause he never wanted to marry me and I had that conversation with some friends at that moment (so they know he proposed but didn't want to get married)

Sorry this is a long one.

I dont know what to do, so wanting to know what others would do and any advice would be good.

So abit of a back story, last year I were seeing a guy i met online after a month I got pregnant. When I found out I were pregnant we had a talk about what to do. I wanted to get an abortion as I thought it were too early in the relationship and i didnt want to wnd up being a single mum to 2 children, he wanted me to keep it as we had both been though miscarriages in previous relationships. He convinced me to keep the baby by telling me everything i wanted to hear . He said he would stop drinking so much as he were going out Friday-sunday. He said that he would help out financially, help out with bills by giving me 1/4 of what the bills cost until I dont get paid anymore from work when on maternity leave then he said he would pay for all bills. After 3 months he got sacked from work for not going into work on a Monday because he were hungover (He were warned a few weeks prior if he did it again he would be sacked but he did it again anyways knowing he would get sacked). I ended up paying for everything. Paying all the bills, then some of his bills. He then got a few job about 2 weeks before I gave birth. His new work place where very supportive. My waters broke at 35 weeks and I managed to get an induction booked in at 36 weeks. His work place gave him a few days off work so he could be there when i give birth. On the prenatal ward he kept doing anything I asked him not to do. Making me more stressed. So I asked him to leave and go for a nap at home and when the nurse says I'm almost ready to go on the labour ward I would ring him to come back. He went home ordered a huge takeaway then went to sleep. Baring in mind at the hospital I were starving as id only had one sandwich all day. Then when I rang him to come back he didnt answer. He ignored me. I had to contact my mum for her to ring him a taxi and make him come. He arrived 30 seconds after I gave birth. I almost gave birth all alone in hospital. The midwife left the room to get someone. As she came back, he were crowning.

Fast forward to registering my sons birth. I told him when and where it was booked. He kept "forgetting" to book it off work so isn't on the birth certificate as he were working. Around this time we had a conversation about what would happen if we broke up after watching a video of someone use the kids as a weapon ect. I said to him id never do that, that I would always want him to be involved as much as he wanted. He then said youe too nice id be petty AF and hurt you as much as I could through our son.

A few weeks later he assaulted my eldest son (on boxing day) I then told him to leave. He then went to sleep at a friends house for a few days. During thst time he told me if I didnt get back with him and let him move back in he would kill himself. He were being really horrible to me but said thst would stop if we got back together so I did.

He continued to not help pay for anything, still going out every weekend, all weekend. Still talking to me and my eldest son like shit. Never spending time with his son so I ended things again while he were on a night out. I packed his things and put them at my front door (inside) a few days later he came to pick his stuff up. He then starts with the, I'm gonna kill myself ect its been 4 months now and hes not

Since separating ive encouraged him to see his son as much as possible. Invited him to anywhere I'm going with my kids. Some of the things he comes, some things he doesn't. With my son being a few months old (now 6 months) I asked if he could see him every day as I want them to build a strong bond. I believe children need their dad's (i didnt know my dad when growing up so know how that can impact you) so I wanted him to be very involved in our son's life. He however said he would only come Monday, Wednesday and Fridays after work as he didnt want to come weekends because he still wants yo go football and out with his mates. He finishes work at 4pm. My sons bedtime normally falls between half 5 - half 7. He normally rubs his eyes, crys, feeds then he goes to bed.

The first few weeks he would come right after work, so would get here around half 4. I would give him our son then I would go make tea (making him some too as he were here) then I realised I could afford to continue doing this so would just make my son his tea on the days he comes. After I make tea. The baby would normally want milk, so hes passed to me, he has his milk then goes to sleep for the night. At the beginning my ex would still as long as he could even if our son was asleep. Now 4 months on, hes making excuses why he can't come. Keeps asking to come the next day instead because hes tired or because he doesn't want to walk there and back. Hes also been jobless the last month. The last few times he come hes been starving. I can hear his stomach rumbling. Some of the times ive made him food so hes not going hungry but ive been giving him my tea, so the days hes eaten here I haven't. My son is exclusively breastfed, so I'm starting to run dry with having no energy with not eating much. Especially in this heat this week. I've been keeping hydrated.

Anyways today my sons dad is kicking off because hes not on the birth certificate. Saying he has a legal right to be on the birth certificate, accused me of sleeping about - saying he aint the dad and that's why I aint let him on and that when I get a new bf I'm not going to let him see our son and I'm going to replace him. I've said to him that isn't the case. Explained that he didnt come to register him and that's the only reason he isn't on the birth certificate. We were going to re-register him but I'm having second thoughts. Especially with him saying he will hurt me through my son. I feel like if I now put him on the birth certificate he will just pick my son up and then not bring him home.

He’s now saying he’s gonna kill himself and I will have to explain to our child why he’s dead. Then now saying he’s going to take me to court

I need help. What should I do. Advice is needed.