My fiancé and I recently separated as while on a work trip, I was unfaithful.
I am having such a hard time, because yes, I did sleep with someone else - HOWEVER, I was extremely drunk and feel I was taken advantage of. He is higher up in the company whereas I am at a much lower level. Multiple times I told him I was engaged and he came back saying he was in an open relationship. I remember leaving the bar, but don’t remember getting back to the hotel, riding the elevator to his room, and initiating anything. What I do remember is the roughness of it, and falling over atleast 4 times in the act. I then remember waking up in his room as he was throwing me my phone to put his number in. I woke up covered in bruises and my hair matted up.
How do I 1- deal with the guilt I feel for blowing up my relationship and 2- get over the fact that I am 80% sure I was raped.. and finally 3- deal with seeing this person at upcoming work events. I can’t bring it up to my boss as when it initially happened I told her it wasn’t anyone from the company, and that it was consensual…