Needed a rant! 😂

Why is there so much pressure on mothers?? Women are taught from a young age to be perfect in order to be loved, seen, and accepted. This doesn’t go away in motherhood, it gets worse! And books like this DO NOT help! Wdyt? https://www.themotherhoodmanual.com/
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I have books and briefly read a couple pages here and there but I never believed what I was reading. I never followed what was told by others or even by “experts”. I just simply did things my way. I did what I believed worked for me and my kids. I breastfed my first and formula fed my second. I swaddled my first and not my second. There’s no perfect way or right way. Maybe the books are useful to some people but for me there is no guide to parenting to having perfect sleeping and eating babies. My son eats everything and anything and my daughter is extremely picky! It’s hard to get her to eat her meals! I bought them up the same when it comes to food but they will be how they are!

Totally agree with you!

I now at my second boy find that we should get the information for sure cause it’s empower you to make good choices but always trust your instincts to make those choices!

I like a science based book. I do think some of the ones I have read set unrealistic expectations.

Agreed !! Motherhood is way more complex than just going through a guide. It is different for everyone. Every kid and family is different. 🙌🏼 thanks for sharing.

❤️ this, not only are no two children the same but what works one week might not work the next

There’s no one size fits all manual for motherhood ladies 🤱

Completely agree!! There’s no “one size fits all”, especially with babies! I knew 4 other women who became moms within the same year as myself. All of our babies are different. That’s why there’s options with feeding, swaddles, sleeping spaces, bottles, pacifiers, parenting styles. Everyone’s different; let’s celebrate that instead of going off of some guide.

@Chelsea Yes! That’s something I’m having to wrap my mind around. What used to work, might not anymore. It’s always changing because she’s learning and growing.

I think for many years moms were struggling with having to keep everything together and now in the recent few years we are finally reaching out for help when needed and demanding equality form bf’s , husbands etc when it comes to balancing. It’s so important to speak on this subject because so many women are struggling with depression and anxiety from not asking for help or not even having help around.

I haven't read it but based on what you're saying it sounds absolutely awful. I feel like to many people are trying to cash in on new moms and making millions. When more education would help in the long fun. Like in grade school

You have to do what works for you, your kid and your family. This is not a one size fits all job.

@Itzel this!!

I can take WIC classes (they are free!) that teach u all sorts of stuff and they answer ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!! they got amazing teams fs that are so helpful and kind ❤️

Wow I didn't think they would eve read a guide that basically makes us mums feel like shit and that we are doing things wrong

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Totally agree! Everyone’s motherhood journey is different. As someone else said it’s not o e size fits all! What works for me doesn’t work for my sister or my best friend.

Everyone has an opinion on motherhood and a lot of the time it’s given in a disrespectful manner. As it’s been said kids are all different (as is everyone). No one box fits us all in and that’s okay.

I'm only 4 months in. I did everything by the book until my son got sick and had to be hospitalised. Ever since then, I follow my motherly instincts about everything because that was the only thing that saved my son in the end. Every mother and baby is different, and what is right for one might not be for others.

Don't even have time to read as a new mom so have no idea what other moms are doing in their books 😅

I’ve learned not only as a woman but as a mother you have to protect yourself. You need to have a filter for information (digital or otherwise - Instagram can be so toxic for us moms) that only allows in as much as you can handle! And maybe more importantly - I’ve learned that being a “super mom” IS POSSIBLE but literally STUPID. You aren’t meant to do it all! Humans are communal creatures why do we try to prove we can do it all by ourselves? We’re women, OF COURSE we can do it all! But we shouldn’t, we deserve better than that.

As a mom of 4 I have never read any book on parenting because they don't work for everyone. Yes they give you new options to try when you are struggling but it's not a cure all. Things that I have done with 1 child didn't work with the next. My first 2 kids were so easy, great sleepers and eaters and now 3&4 are total opposites! Parenting is all about getting through the season you are in to the best of your ability. If you need help you need to find it whether it's reading books for advice and trying new things or talking to someone.

Sadly most of the people who pressure women they have to be ‘perfect’ are other women. I’m lucky to have a personality that ‘doesn’t give an f’ 😂 . As long as my baby is happy and loved, I’m doing well. In fact, VERY well.

I think some motherhood books / blogs have been helpful and then some not so much. I think just like anything else with tips or w.e you just gotta kind of take it with a grain of salt. I kind of feel the same tho when I’m getting advice from older people, and also reading gentle parenting guides. Sometimes it can be too much and sometimes it’s actually helpful so I just kind of filter what I may want to try and let the rest go.

Even being on that website for 5 minutes makes me want to slap everyone involved. I 100% agree with you!!!

I believe these books or manuals are just guides to help women know what to expect. I also believe women should talk to their own family members (moms and mother in laws and grandmas) about what they went through, and they should review multiple sources. One book is not enough for any (new) mom or pregnant woman

Haven't read the book, but I've had to bite my tongue and tighten my fist so many times when other people try to push their opinions on what they expect me to do with my child. Nothing triggers me like that. We're all trying our best with what we got.

Yes I’ve read a book like that, i was a teen mom and it made me feel worse

I don't read any of this stuff deliberately, when it comes to it nature kicks in and we all do what fits our babies, my baby is going to like/settle in different ways than your baby. When I had my first I was told do not swaddle them, then my granny said look we have been swaddling our babies for 100s of years and it's comfort to them, so I swaddled him anyway and he was happy. As long as we are listening to our instincts and babies we will do a good job.

@samiye ❤️

Threw my books away and used my mum for advice and even the stuff she said only worked for the first week after my daughter was sick and was hospitalised, after that everything was different so no ‘manual’ would ever work. Every child is one in million and every parent also.

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100% The Pressure on women is crazy, Instagram influencers, Books like these, society & friends which means the biggest part of the pressures and are other women

The pressure is mad! I have a 1 and 2 year old and the amount of opinions put on me is crazy! It’s hard enough for us all never mind being told we aren’t doing it right or the ‘proper’ way🙄

😳😳😳

When I had my son, I was judged by midwife’s, family & friends because I didn’t want to breastfeed. The amount of questions I got on it was ridiculous. I just didn’t want to put that pressure on myself every day & night. I’m a first time mum too and I then started doubting myself am I doing the wrong thing but my partner said it’s your choice if you want to breastfeed or not, no one else’s. Xxx

Yea you’re exactly right! My son has cleft lip and palate so can’t breastfeed, I expressed for a while but it just led me to feel like I had more of a relationship with a bloody breast pump than my newborn son, so stopped! Stuff like that saying there’s a perfect way to breastfeed and such is really unfair to those of us who can’t, I would have loved to do it and can do with out being made to feel guilty that it didn’t work for my son and me 😔 all this “breast is best” no well fed is best! I’m sure it’s just one example in that manual that is damaging!

There is no manual. We’re all out here trying to survive and do our best. Everyone is different and there is no one way to do motherhood. That’s what makes it beautiful and difficult.

On point!

Sounds like he need to stfu

i have been carefully curating my instagram to show the types of parenting methods i now go with! And i stopped looking at pubmed as soom as i got pregnant as frankly science does not have a perfect or ideal option and 1 thing does not fit all! But all I know is even when I completely mess up, my toddler (who can’t talk yet) still looks at me like im perfect so for now I’ll take that!

I agree! Today I’m walking with my 5 yo and she asked me why is it so hard to be a girl?! She asked if it’s gonna get easier? 😕 I was lost.. didn’t know what exactly to say… it made me thinking the same.. why is it so hard? Right?

I am pregnant with my 4th baby and I already feel the pressure to do everything by the book everyone is so very different I find spelling mum to mums are easier then it coming from a book

I think this is stupid! Also every child is different so a stupid Manuel isn’t going to help! It’s actually so stupid it’s probably written by someone without kids as well

Their no perfect mother this one thus I promise that I try be perfect I had post depression because of my birth that emergency csection I'm so blessed my vaby is here that if a day Kate ge wouldn't be here

Learning from the moms and caretakers that came before us that we love and respect creates a firm foundation. There is always something to learn and apply if it fits. All we can do is our best in the moment. I always tell my son - the best I can do is to raise you so you can afford your therapy. 😂

I never read books that taught me what society wants me as a woman and a future mom. I know society does place a ton of pressures on women. I just shrug my shoulders on this when it comes to my individuality and motherhood. God made me their mom and I am loved by the most high.

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As a postnatal doula and mum to 5, I've never really understood the 'one size fits all' narrative to parenthood! It can be so damaging to mental health and confidence when it doesn't work. I see mum's questioning their own intuition/gut instincts because it isn't what the' book' has told them to do. 🥺

@Angel same here and it was dangerous for me to breastfeed as well with my daughter being hypoglycaemic when she was born and she needed large quantities of milk very quickly to bring her sugars up and clear her jaundice. Yet I still had midwives judging me despite doctor’s orders to give her formula! 🤯 it was mental!

Manuals like this are rubbish. As someone who never had help from family, I often had to research stuff and things that put pressure on mums or used really patronising language tones were also super damaging…totally get your feels lovely!

Yeah any how to book with kids should be burnt.

Created for moms by experts! This says it all, 😂😂😂🙄🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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