Anyone else struggling with bitterness postpartum?

Yes to everything!! It gets easier. I’m 8mo PP it and I’m feeling much more free and loving. You’re hormones are still doing a lot girl!! I tried to use that angry resentful energy to make some changes in my life. I got the book FairPlay by Eve Rodsky and it was life changing!!!! Check it out!

You’re not alone! Luckily we were financially prepared for our baby but I don’t think anyone is truly mentally or emotionally prepared, especially women who go through postpartum hormones. I have a lot of bitterness and rage a lot of the times.. it sucks & I don’t want to be that kind of mom either. Patience just wears thin a lot and I catch myself grieving my old lifestyle where I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I love my baby, it’s just hard adjusting to this new life. 💜

Oh my love, all of this is so so valid! It’s so tough, and my god there’s no perfect manual to follow to get it all right. Sounds like you need an outlet, a way to be able to offload and decompress everything that’s been going on. Have you got any access to getting some support to help you unload and have the support you deserve to clear the energy that’s making you feel angry and upset xx

Your feelings are valid. Maybe you should discuss your feelings with your partner. And maybe you need a break. Maybe have him watch your baby for an hour or two while you go do something to destress. Taking care of ourselves in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, physically, etc) will help us be better moms and show our kids that self care is important. Are you a first time mom? Everything can be an adjustment. Take time with yourself. I don't think these feelings make you bitter but human. I don't think you can be fully prepared for this journey either even if you had it all together. I think it's good your on your journey to healing yourself. Continue with it. And knowing ourselves I think never ends since we change throughout life. You are qualified to teach him. You don't have to know everything.

Wish you lived closer, cuz I like your profile and relate to this a lot, and I bet we'd have good walks in the park. I get those feelings. Although I can't relate to the in laws switching gears because they never gave a shit about me anyway 😆 lol So maybe better to have loved and lost? I'm only half serious. I know it sucks. I remember being oblivious before being pregnant, so I kinda gave a pass to people who didn't have kids, but I thought more of the women (mostly aunts because no close friends) in my solar system would have asked how I was doing. Some probably asked my parents, but not me directly. It really does make you reassess your world and everything and everyone in it. Which is positive, but painful. Transformation is hard and we don't always choose when it happens. I feel very much like my husband and daughter are the only people I feel completely comfortable with and appreciated by. I'm trying to lean into that, and let go of what isn't serving me. It's hard *hugs*

Yes, I definitely feel all of this and more. I’ve never been a bitter person and don’t want to be, but none of this has played out even remotely how I expected it would. I have such a hard time coping with how it all turned out, how much my life has changed 180 and yet it still has to go on as it was always has, how my body is so different now and will never go back to how it was, how I didn’t appreciate it back then. How yes, now I’m just a tool for people to see their grandchildren, a means to an end rather than an end in myself. How I wish I had enjoyed the pregnancy journey so much more, had gotten better care and been more prepared for labor. Been more loved on and celebrated. Gotten so many photos and sweet memories and moments. I’m having a really rough time coping with everything. Just wish I could have a do over on it all. I don’t want to be angry and bitter but having a hard time getting over it and moving on with this next chapter of my life.

Girl!!! I felt every word smh

@Em I really should start seeing a therapist again. My last therapist wasn’t a good fit for me so I’ve been wary of starting the process over again to risk it not working out. Plus it’s so hard making time for myself these days 😅

All I want to say is that pregnancy and birth trigger all kinds of unresolved emotional issues and forgotten trauma of the past. New mom bitterness/anger is real... and more common than you think but so few people will have the courage to talk about it. You are not alone and you should try and go to therapy (online if you can't in person). I was EXACTLY the same in the first months, if not year of giving birth and someone out of the blue recommended his therapist to whom I owe my mental peace. I understand that financially you might not have the option of hiring a therapist but does your state have free therapy programmes? It's just so that you can have someone to talk about, otherwise, those internal dialogues will take control over yourself and you will lose your identity. In regards to people only caring about the baby, say something to them. It's what I did and I'm glad I did it because they didn't even realise they were being inconsiderate...

@Kenzie lmao I feel you on the in laws, I don’t think they ever cared that much about me either. Not that they hate me, I’m just the woman their son is with and that’s it. I don’t really care though 😆 But fuck if you didn’t hit the nail on the head talking about the women in your life…I get that everyone has their own lives but I for sure expected them to reach out more and how much of an impact it has. I feel like we’d have great convos, must be a Pisces thing 😋

Every single word resonates 👏🏼 You’re not alone. I promise it gets better though

I can relate to this post so much. I think a mum will never ever forget who didn’t forget her during those crucial postpartum days. I’m bitter too a year on and can’t shake it. I felt invisible to certain people who made it clear they only cared about seeing my baby and no interest into my well-being after I went through a pretty tough ordeal to bring him into the world. It has stuck with me and completely changed my relationships with those people and pushed me away. I’m glad it’s not just me. And there’s also this pressure to just have it all together. the saying hug the mum, not the baby gives me all the feels. Solidarity mama x

@Rebecca “Cope” is the perfect word I think. Nothing went the way I expected either and I never really got to deal with that or talk to anyone about it outside of my partner. I love talking to him but it’s different when you can talk to someone who can actually relate. And sometimes I’m like what good does talking even do. Sometimes it isn’t enough for me.

I could of wrote most of this and I haven’t even given birth yet 😞

As the mum your life will be richer than you’ll ever know 😍 you’ll get the most cuddles, you’ll be the one your baby needs the most! Your life has completely and utterly changed but embrace it ❤️ this motherhood journey is incredible! I’m a solo mum I do everything single bit of parenting myself, I haven’t had a full night sleep in over a year! But you gotta lean into it and love your new life! The first few months SUCK! It’s around 9 months it gets better and now at a year I love my mum life! You’ve got this x

I feel every word of this. You are not alone. If I had more energy I'd go into detail but just know that it will get better. Remember to talk, be honest about how you feel & sit with all the discomfort, ask for help, set boundaries, cut out hurtful people as much as possible, take breaks, develop set some kind of routine which includes me time. Listen to the Happy Mama Movement podcast. Xx

Honestly I had almost all of these same thoughts in the first months postpartum. It really is so hard. I'm the same way too, I kind of kept it all in because I didn't want to burden anyone with it. I still feel some of this some days, and my baby is 11 months old now. I just prayed like mad through it, cried a lot, and tried to find my own peace with it. It really helped me to focus on my sweet girl and everything beautiful about her and less on what I was missing or what the people around me were doing. A general practice of gratitude makes all the difference! But it's really freaking hard, I totally understand... I think it's why mom's want mom friends. You gotta be a mom to understand this stuff. But you aren't alone in this!

@Nat same. Iv been so angry and bitter in my pregnancy. Angry for present things and angry over stuff that hasnt happened yet but i know will. Maybe its an instincual mama thing? But i just have so much resentment and bitterness abt all the bullshit im abt to face once the baby is born. I feel so protective of myself and the baby coz no one else will be. I wish things were different. Def not looking forward to PP😞

@Jordyn "i think its why mums want mum friends" 💯💯💯

This is such a important post. 6 months pregnant and feeling slight bitterness already. That you for posting and thank everyone for contributing x

Feeling this! I ended up asking hubs to give me 1 hr every night. We call it “dad hr” and it’s SO helpful knowing I’ll have at least that uninterrupted time to do things around the house, do a short workout, shower, or just chill. Honestly I know it’s still not ideal since it’s just 1hr but it’s a good start and makes a world of difference!

Yup. You’re not alone. Girl read my bestselling book “Help! My Husband Is Hardly Homs: 8 Steps to Feel Supported While Raising Your Family” this bitterness and resentment your feeling only compounds if you don’t resolve it. It doesn’t get better over time bc you essentially just bury deep seeded emotions. Reach out if you’re ready to make a shift and make lasting changes in your life

@Cynthia Thanks a lot for telling me about Rise, I’m definitely gonna check it out. Andy boy likes the bouncer for like ten mins then he wants me holding him. Hopefully it gets better with time

@Jordyn Ah I literally just this morning told myself I need to be more grateful. And that’s why I try not to complain out loud. But then I just end up saying all those things internally lol

@~A~ I’m curious, have you voiced your bitterness to anyone around you or are you more like me and hold it in?

@Ox 💜💜💜

I 100% feel this! I was sooo bitter after having my son and realizing nobody cares to be in his life, hell nobody cares to be in my life anymore. It's super hurtful but as time had gone on I've realized I don't need any of those people in my life and my son is the greatest gift I could ever have ❤️ he is all that matters anymore and I'm so thankful for him.

@Kelsey See that kinda makes me angrier because I went into this thinking things would be 50/50 and not realizing that because I’d be the one breastfeeding and the one with more patience, not going to work (I work from home) that meant that I’d be the one responsible for the baby 90% of the time. So I could see myself thinking “Why the fuck do I only get one hour every day” but I love that it works well for you and your family.

I feel like I sadly lost myself a bit after my pregnancies and not because of my babies but just my body doesn't feel the same anymore

@Trish I totally get it, I do the same thing sometimes! I feel like a mindset of gratitude is something that's cultivated over time, not an overnight thing you know? Keep practicing ❤️ and that doesn't mean don't try to solve the root of some of the bitterness! If you think you can address some of it, absolutely do so!! But some things you can't control you know, so you gotta focus on what you have and what you can control and let the rest be 😌

I 100% feel this post so much. I have never felt more alone in my life. My partner has so much freedom and since he’s having a rough time coping with things that have happened over the past year my issues get belittled.

In the same boat mama. Currently I'm just trying to keep on keeping on.

Have you talked to your doctor about postpartum depression? It sounds like you may benefit from taking to a therapist or maybe even getting some meds?? I'm so sorry you're so bitter, I hope you can try and find some joy in it!

I’ve never related more to a post! Sometimes I don’t recognize the person I’ve become and it’s so hard. It’s been the complete opposite of what I expected this journey would be like, and I feel that I was also not prepared in more ways than one. I love my baby with my whole being, shes my world, I just didn’t expect to feel so alone or to struggle as much as I have. You’re definitely not alone! Now we just need to stay strong and try to stay hopeful/positive, because I’m sure that better days are ahead.

@Trish I should clarify that the dad hour is not the ONLY time he has the baby, it’s just one guaranteed uninterrupted hr that saves my sanity because I can look forward to it all day. But mama if you are working then absolutely you should have much closer to a 50/50 share (not totally possible w breastfeeding, but it should be more equal)!

@Kelsey Oh okay, I get it now 😂 thanks for clarifying. I do WFH but only part-time so I try to give my partner as much time to himself as he needs because he works more than I do, but it’s still hard. Thank you for your kind words 💜

My love, these feelings are so valid. It is HARD! I’m at the end of my pregnancy and I’m so awake to a lot of these realities. My advice is find people you can meet for a coffee and a vent. There’s nothing more validating and satisfying than finding a person or people you can talk about this stuff with who get it too. I see you’re in Florida, otherwise I’d hit you up!

@trish I hope you guys find a better balance soon! I think these kinds of conversations really matter with our generation because the roles are so mingled. I wish my hubs and I had talked about it before becoming parents

Girl !!!!!!! I felt every word of this post you are not alone

@Trish girl!!!! That's my life in a nutshell right there!! My bf of TWELVE YRS up n broke up with me for no reason at all after I told him I was pregnant after we planned the pregnancy and tried for a year and a half! He bought supplements to help my fertility and encouraged me to go to the doctor and even was talking IVF after it didn't happen for awhile. Now even 2 weeks after I told him on V-Day that mf'r broke up with me thru TEXT smh my whole pregnancy I was depressed worrying about doing this shit alone and exactly wut I was afraid of has come to fruition cuz I'm doing everything by myself. I never wanted to be a single mom n he just up and abandoned me smh I have alotta anger now bcuz he made my life so much harder. I'm disabled also

@Tanaé WTF. I am so sorry to hear that…what a piece of shit. I don’t even have words to offer you because I’m so stunned. I’d be livid and you have every right in the world to be angry girl