Unruly teenage boys?
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Don’t beat yourself up. I am going through this RIGHT NOW, he literally just got suspended yesterday. This year has been so hard. It makes me question my every move as a parent but I know I can’t control his decisions I can only encourage him to make good ones. It’s been rocky waters this entire school year and each phone call from the school leaves me in tears. Feel free to message me if you just need someone to talk to. I had no real advice as I’m trying to navigate through this shit as well 😫
@Trish He is disruptive in class at school & disrespectful to the teachers. He’s actually not too disrespectful to me at home, it’s just at school around friends. One friend in particular that he always gets into trouble with. When things get bad we basically don’t let him see or talk to this friend (besides in school because we have no control over that) and he starts to do better.
Hello, i am dealing with the same exact thing. Single mom to a 13 year old boy acting up. We started therapy and it’s actually been helping. A lot was him acting out to show off to his friends. Regular meetings with the school and teachers have also been helpful. Also working in building his confidence. It’s tough to be a teen and tough to be a mom to a teen!
@Crystal His dad and I have talked about getting him into therapy. He (my son) is not fond of the idea, so I’m hoping he will actually open up.
@Michelle Renee I’m glad I am not alone! And sorry to you momma as I know the stresses of it! He got in school suspension just a couple of weeks ago. I was just at a loss. I think his issues stem from not having his dad around, we separated when my son was 4months old. So maybe being with his dad for a while will be helpful? Who knows, right?! Just trial and error at this point!
No advice for you, since I don’t have teens yet, but I just wanted to tell you you’re not a failure of a mother! Sounds like you’re doing everything you can for him. Hang in there! ❤️
You said it could be from missing his dad. Do he go there at all to visit or stay overnight?
@Sierra He flys to see his dad (only 5 hours away, so not ridiculously far) and his dad comes to our house to stay several times throughout the year, so they still spend time together. Maybe just not enough time?
It’s such a tough age with all the hormones, the peer pressure, the need to fit in, and just feeling lost and misunderstood in general. His dad could be part of the issues but I think so much of it is just growing pains and trying to find their place in school. I think a lack of confidence is a high factor with my son as he does things to seem to gain the approval of the wrong crowd.
My son just turned 13 and in 7th grade. Almost his entire grade has been getting into trouble. This age is rough for kids and parents alike. It sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things. Keep listening to him. Introduce him to the idea of therapy, but try to avoid saying things like "you need therapy" or making it seem like you're sending him because he's unmanageable. You can try asking him things about his future. Who does he want to be when he grows up? Who does he look up to? His hormones and developing brain will be making a lot of decisions for him in the next few years, but you can keep prompting him to consider how his actions may affect his future without actually telling him that his actions are affecting his future. He may be a smart kid, but you're smarter. 😉 You aren't alone, though, and you're not a bad mama.
My baby is 3 months but I'm 19.. all I can say is the best thing that ever happened to me is getting put into a program. What they did was DBT/CBT therapy daily, journaling, outdoor time. Basically give him outputs for his frustration! Good luck :)
We are going through the same with my 13 going on 14 year old step daughter. We had no choice but for her to switch schools and stay with her mom most of the time. :( We tried therapy, extra curricular. Nothing worked. Turns out she just wanted to live with her mom full time and did what she could to make it happen.
I’ve been using a site called Teen Counseling which matched my kid to a therapist online that she can zoom talk to from her room. She liked the idea of being able to tell things to someone she couldn’t tell to anyone else. The other thing is getting him into a team sport or club that has “good” kids in it that puts him around kids that behave that he can compare the behavior to, if that’s an option.
What situations/behaviors specifically is he having trouble with? Is he behaving similarly problematically at home and at school? Has he expressed anything he’s struggling with right now?