in Single moms
Leaving while pregnant
I’m 29 weeks pregnant with my first child and this has been a stressful lonely pregnancy my child father and I weren’t together when I got pregnant we were just cool friends after I ended up getting pregnant we tried to be in a relationship it was going good till I had to get a cerclage at 22 weeks the day of my surgery he was mad and made it so lonely because he had to wake up and interrupt his sleep to come with me and he works 3rd shift But ended up not even going to work that night because he had a social event to go to I let that go so I moved in with him it only lasted 2 weeks because he started accusing me of entertaining other men and said the only reason I’m not having sex with other men is because I had to get my cerclage So I ended up moving in with my mom which isn’t the best environment but I let that go between me and him recently he accused me of cheating once again saying I’m not doing anything sexual because I’d go into labor I have never cheated on this man and then he got mad at me because I didn’t want to spend the night at his place now he’s blocked me on everything and ask what my plan is because he’s stuck with me forever now Idkk why I’m so sad I feel like I’m taking the opportunity away from him to be with our child every day and experience that dynamic because he didn’t get to with his first child why do I feel like the bad guy here?
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Hi there, I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. From what you are saying his behavior has been completely unacceptable, even more with you having his child. Having a child is difficult and it requires a lot of work. It doesn’t seem like the environment he is giving you is conducive of a healthy relationship and even worse for a child who will be experiencing and seeing that relationship. IMO it’s probably better for your mental and physical health and for your future kid to have some distance, but only you will know. Also, I’m sorry to hear that living with your mom has not been great. Any chance you can find another place?
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Some men are just mean and horrible. It seems like he's not ready to be a father and honestly you can't force any man to be ready, even some will marry you and get distance once pregnant. I know its hard and lonely but at least you have your mother. I would say keep that relationship with your mother positive and get all the support you can from her until your able to get on your feet. You don't need the stress from BD so give him space and let him figure it out. The way he treats you whilst your pregnant with his child whether or not you were in a relationship tells alot about his character and that's not the type of relationship you want. Don't entertain his arguments, just walk away or cut the phone as soon as he starts. He will start changing the way he speaks to you just to have a conversation. Once the baby is born, give him all access to interact and see baby but don't get romantic with him at all. After all, he's not giving you what you need so don't give him what he wants. Best wishes to you & baby