I REALLYYYYY NEED SOME ADVICE!!

Soo, it’s a little detailed story so bare with me ! I’ve been with this guy ( who i’m now pregnant by) for 5 years. He had a 17 year old son , and when he was with his mama she cheated and got pregnant had a girl but he stayed and claimed the little girl which he has a very close bond with. He has been there for her since she was born .. so this lil girl would come spend all night over my house , with or without her dad being present. this past October his baby mama started some stuff with me ( i feel like she was jealous when she found out i was pregnant) … ( long story short ) i asked her to get away from my car so i can leave she wouldnt shut my door so i got out of car so i can move her and shut it , she throw her hands up trying fight me. But he kept trying to break it up she ran and got a gun and shot in air … so now she like ohh i’m not allowed around her daughter blah blah blah … it’s been on most 9 months now … today he hit me with a … ima get an airbnb so my kids ( my 2 sons) and her daughter can hang and have a sleep over … i’m pissed and i really don’t like the idea of it… i feel like it’s fucked up he accommodating her fucked up ways when this all cause of her .. her real father don’t claim her or be around so if she want a father figure she need to get her headphones it her ass and get with the program. instead he kissing her ass …. and he like oh my daughter misses me i want to get a room for us to spend all night together. am i wrong for being mad ? how should i handle this??
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First of all the fact that the baby mama got the gun is toxic and he should check her about that like what if she shot at you by accident ? That doesn’t prove that she’s strong like that’s some weak shit Foreal. I think you gotta check your man and tell him first off the kids have always been coming to your house - so keep it that way and if he wants to see his baby mama’s daughter than he can go over there to see her if it’s such a big problem for her to come to your house. But honestly you’re pregnant so he really should do whatever makes you comfortable.

@victoria he says the daughter wants to spend all night with him.. so going to her house isn’t ideal either .. do you think i’m wrong for saying no to airbnb too tho ? And that she can come here or fuck that .. cause at this point it’s about to make me tell him he gots to go

You're not wrong AT all. He shouldn't be accommodating her, and her temper tantrums. It's ridiculous. I get he doesn't want to cause any rifts to prevent him from seeing his kids. But what about you!?? He needs to put her in her place. Because she no longer has that spot where she gets to call any shots.

I don't think it really has much to do with accommodating her... but more for the kids. Not saying she's right or that him going with it Is ok... but if the man wants to see his daughter and goes that far to do so...that's commendable.

Ya I wouldn’t be okay with Airbnb either girl , either she comes over or he can pack up or be okay with not seeing her 😮‍💨

It’s really toxic mama you should take care of yourself and your baby. It’s gonna effect baby too. It’s time you should set up your boundaries.

Okay first off none of this is okay, it’s very toxic. You need to set boundaries with what you are comfortable with. There needs to be some communication and coming up with a conclusion together. Next off is he on the birth certificate of this girl? If so the best thing to do is see if he can get legal help because it sounds like BM is going to be pulling shit whenever she wants. You don’t need that when you are about to deliver/ have a newborn. Was there a police report filed when she shot the gun off because that would be very helpful in court if he goes that route. Best of luck mama and make sure you and baby are safe mentally and physically!! 🥰

I would be pissed and buggin out first off if her mom don't want me around her to fucking bad the bitch shudnt have did wtf she did n he shudnt be allowing such behaviors when you are carrying his actual child he needs to put his foot down or u need to go

@Leah yeah it is commendable but at the same time, separating our family and household just to spend time with her .. as if i’m the bad person or did something wrong ??? You still find that ok ?

@Niiccy🇯🇲🇬🇧 glad i’m not the only one who feels this way !! I feel like he got me doing wifely duties and he playing house !! but then wana turn around and tell me some shit like this … yeah i told him i would never get in the way of him being a father … so i’ll just back away .. it’s all toxic and i don’t deserve it … period !

@Mary yes Mary thank you , that’s exactly how I am feeling !!

@Veronica right !!!! he keeps saying to me so you really gon do all this cause i am trying to be a good father ? smh so i say , well im being a good human and just backing up , go be a father but understand the way u going about it is disrespectful to me and i don’t approve of it so yeah, I gots to let you go … he saying i’m dead wrong for breaking up with him over something like that … he just toxic too !

@Leah thank you i really appreciate you sharing your opinion!!

Waiiiit... I just caught on to this not being his baby? Hmmm cause I was gonna say he should take it to court...but frfr he don't have no rights to the baby. Um yeah..... in that case it does sound COMPLETELY different. I say follow your intuition. Let him get the air bnb and do a pop up.🙂

@Leah girl yes exactly! but he been there for her since she was born so i understand the bond . but i ain’t doing no pop ups , if it got to be all that i’m good on it

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