should i let my mom in the delivery room?
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I'm not having my mom come and she's been perfectly nice and caring the whole time. Don't feel guilty!!
people who have that specific relationship with their moms want their moms in the room. definitely not everyone. it’s YOUR birth, if you don’t want her there, then don’t let her be there.
Don’t do anything your not sure about based off other ppls opinions. Follow your heart not everyone has the same situations to speak something like that for everyone. This is your moment !!! Forgive them! But don’t be stupid or pressured ! So glad your father is being so supportive 💕🙌🏽
@Megan Patino thank you! 🫶🏼
@Jenn exactly! there are people who actually have the sweetest moms who aren’t having them in the delivery room!
@Krissy omg thank you! 🫶🏼 i feel like they always try that weird guilt trip but i’m feeling better now that you all don’t think i’m crazy lol.
@Bri all about forgiveness over here 🫶🏼 but definitely trying to find that balance between forgiveness and not being taken advantage of so you’re absolutely right! 🩷
Personally, if I were in your shoes, I'd ask dad to be there with me if he's comfortable with that. He can stay "north of the knees" if he's squeamish or just uncomfortable about seeing things, but it sounds like he needs to be your cheerleader and deserves a first look at your twins. I wouldn't even invite mom, she's being a brat.
@Karis 🦩 you are me and i am you! lol i totally agree. i really don’t even want her there if she’s just gonna piss me off the whole time. i’d much rather my dad be there!
No way would I allow my mom in the room! I’m sorry you’re being treated like that. Your dad sounds like an amazing person though and I hope you can find comfort in him being there for you
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with their ish, loved hearing how involved your dad is trying to be though! Regarding delivery room support persons - your baby, your birth, your rules and as long as you communicate your wants (needs even) they’ll be fine. I have on my birth plan to have my momma in there for the laboring to support and encourage me but when pushing begins, she is to be kindly escorted out lol (unless I change my mind) I agree it’s a privilege too and I have no issues with my mom, I just want that special moment of greeting our first born with just my husband and I, no distractions until we’re ready. If that’s how you might feel about it, use that or a similar example to keep your audience to a minimum.
@Marissa thank you! and i am so grateful for my dad being there for me right now. i’m really excited to have my him and my fiancé there! 🩷
@Kersten thank you so much, and i appreciate him more than he is capable of knowing! i’m glad i’m not the only one who wants to enjoy that special moment with their partner and i just want a stress free labor and delivery.
thank you everyone for taking the time to read my post and talk to me/give me advice. i appreciate it more than you all know! 🫶🏼
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That’s sounds rough. I think they were wanting to be more involved in the relationship with you and stuff going through the pregnancy and maybe when you asked them to help pay for stuff they took offense to it or maybe felt used in a way. There are always two sides to everything. Maybe try talking it out to see what’s really been the bottom layer of the issues and then go from there
Honey do what makes you comfortable. When you give birth it will be high emotions, stressful, and everything else the last thing you need is someone there who will belittle you or make you feel worse in such an important moment for you and your fiancé. If they (anyone) aren’t bringing you peace they don’t need to be in the room. That being said I personally would call your mom and sister out for their behavior and let it be known that’s why they won’t be in the delivery room (if that’s what you choose) actions have consequences
To say that “everyone” wants their mom in the delivery room is a very bold and onesided thing to say. To say that, is to ignore how you’re being treated as it excuses your moms behavior in a way. It’s okay to set boundaries with her as a grandma. Her not being in the room does not erase the fact that she’s a grandma. This special day is about making you comfortable and babies arrive safely with minimal to no tension in the air as it can affect stress levels. My mom cried when I told her I don’t want her in the room and that’s just selfish knowing I’m gonna feel bad about it. They are our parents we shouldn’t have to coddle their emotions. Anyone that makes you feel bad for making a decision that makes you FEEL GOOD is someone to be wary of in my opinion….if my daughter were to not want me in the room I would support whatever decision she makes as long as it’s good for her! Making it about my feelings when she’s the one literally birthing a human is just selfish in my opinion
My mom has been supportive and there for me my whole pregnancy and there's still not a chance i would let her in the delivery room with me, in my opinion it's a very intimate thing and i don't want anyone there except my partner i want it to be just us for our first few moments as a family. If your mom hasn't been there for you and been supportive she most definitely hasn't earned a spot in the room with you
@Chrissy i probably explained this wrong but i wanted them to be a part of the planning so my fiancé and i could pay for the entire party. they actually were offended that we were paying for the party because in her eyes “the family throws the baby shower for you” and paying for it myself was making them upset. but in the end when it came time to do things they just decided they didn’t want to pay for things. thats a big part of what upsets me. i was fine doing it on my own until they tried to guilt trip me lol.
@Laura Jones i totally agree! i always want to talk these things out with them but its so hard to have these types of conversations with my mother because she can be so one sided. so i feel like it falls on deaf ears for sure. thank you for listening! 🫶🏼
@Kylie exactly! i want out first moments together to be special and private!
@Gabi !!!! thank you so much lol, i feel the same! like you are still their grandma but until you start acting like one then why would i excuse your awful behavior! sometimes she can be so selfish. i’m going to do what i know is best for me! 🫶🏼
Don’t waste your time girl do what makes you happy and don’t let family members bring you down or make this pregnancy hard for you. This is you and your fiancés baby when they wants to grow up and be around as they should then they will. But when it comes to the baby being born you don’t have to have her there but if SHE wants to make that effort ofc let her.