Fed up of my husband

Sometimes I feel like I hate his guts. I mean I do love him but when he acts like a useless cunt then…Been married 8 years and have 2 boys 8 and 5. He works for nhs and works long hours, leaves the house at like 6/7 by the time he comes home it’s like 7/8pm. And I am left to cope with two over tired over hyper active boys. Bit of background, I do work 5 days a week, working from home and 1 day office… during holidays I have to work with the kids at home, when I’m working I’m not JUST working, I’m also doing mum stuff , cooking cleaning washing house chores etc as well as working on my laptop /on calls. It really gets a bit much, at the end of the day by evening I’m sooo touched out so screamy and pissy because I have to work and then the kids are all bored and sort of go mad making mess as I’m working can’t really do much.. My hubby says I’m always nagging him- I know I do this on weekends when he’s off I tell him to get his act together Clean and help out. Or just I don’t know help keep the house tidy- I admit I might be a tad ocd with cleaning. He doesn’t cook a single meal tbh he’s rubbish at that he’s mum didn’t teach him to cook apart from cereal and eggs or toast lol He says he refuses to do much because he works. However I work also and I’m 24/7 with the kids or doing school run getting them ready for clubs etc and have no family help with this. I pay majority of the bills council tax internet gas electricity and he pays for car insurance his phone bill and kids after school clubs At a loss for what to do . I feel so exhausted mentally, so drained, sometimes I actually contemplate running away for the day to see how everybody would cope without me, then feel bad because I love my kids way to much and know they’ll miss me lol. Then he complains and says he doesn’t want to come home to my pissy ole self who makes faces and screams at him - I do admit I do this because I am so goddamn exhausted physically mentally everything fgs When he’s home though and he’s on his phone or watching stuff on tally or on the Nintendo playing games it pisses me off so hard, coz I’m thinking I’m juggling housework the kids etc and you have the f;ing audacityy to sit there and luxury to watch and play games. I’m so effing miserable atm please give me some advice guys xx

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I feel this and go through similar things. I've told my fiancé more than once that I NEED help. I'm 9 months pregnant and feel like I'm doing it all! He has good days and bad days. I don't really have any good advice except if you really think you'd be better off with out him you could find a new place to live and work on your relationship at the same time. Hang in there mama. You are NOT alone. ❤️

It definitely sounds unfair and you sound really burnt out. But nagging and screaming probably isn't helping at all. First up you need self care. What self care would be meaningful for you? A bath? A massage? Coffee with a friend? You need to get self care time every weekend, make it part of routine like every Saturday morning. And he has to watch the kids while you do that. Second, you need to ask him to help more. What would be meaningful for you? I'm actually in a very similar position, WFH, hubby works out of the home, I do all house work whilst WFH. So the main thing hubby does to help me is I do 1 kids bedtime and he does the other kid. Also he does the dishes on the weekends. You need to ask for something specific, not just moan that he doesn't do enough.

Use money that he contributes towards the house towards your relaxation- 1. Get a cleaner- biweekly types 2. Book hobbies/activities for kids to tire them 3. Book massages and nails for yourself 4. Do ubereats or take outs for food 5. Grooming sessions such as hair cuts for yourself etc. He will start acting up lol.

First off!! Working a job or not! Dealing with children is a f’n job in itself! So for him to refuse to help because he’s working is bullshit. BEING A PARENT DOES NOT STOP!!!! Then on top of that you are working! Tell him that if he expects you to do most of the house work and tend to children most of the day then he should go ahead and make sure all bills are paid on his own. Because there’s no possible way you can continue doing all that with no real help!!! This is unacceptable girl! And if he has a problem with that and still doesn’t wanna help out, I don’t see that relationship lasting much longer. That’s just not ok smh how old are you guys?

1 of 2 things need to happen. He has to provide you with a part time sitter, who can help you. Or you need to work part time. 3 days a week at most. You are becoming burnt out, and it will affect your marriage if he does not compromise with you. Right now he is being stubborn while you are coping. Give him an ultimatum. “Compromise on my terms or we need to separate.”

I would tell him you both are going to divide chores and dinner days. When I met my now husband, he could only cook eggs, but I told him he needs to look up recipes and even told him about some useful apps as well as show him how I cook and have him help me with the steps. We have even taken cooking classes. I cook Monday-Thursday and he has Friday-Sunday, even if that means we order out on his days.

I’ve been in relationships like this before and to be honest, some men are set in their ways and I give myself a timeframe of how long I am willing to live with it for and give him a deadline to change.

I’m in the same shoes with you……. My husband is the same and I got only one baby who is 5 months old !

Similar situation here but its more I've had enough of the he goes to work because I'm of sick yet he only finishes at 5 then shower for him so call it 6 when he's having his tea so roughly 2 hours with baby he has sometimes then moans xxx

When it's his day off, just leave and go and spend some time with yourself. Treat yourself! You bloody deserve it, and don't pick up his calls when you're out. Let him cope and figure it out. X

Second-ing what @Erica said 🙌🏻

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