How would you feel?
Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I have an 8 month old. I have her all the time, even when I’m working at my family’s restaurant. He just worked 8-8. I made dinner and was excited for him to come home. I gave baby a bath and got her ready for bed. He called after work and said he was going out for a couple beers with his friends. I was okay with that. Now an hour later, he says “the guys said the club would be fun tonight, but I don’t know if I should.” Which was obviously reverse psychology. I explained that he told me it was a couple beers and that he should come home. I’m not comfortable with him going to the club with those friends. I’ve been out with them before and watched his friends (all of which have girlfriends / fiancées) grabbing girl’s asses, flirting with girls, getting girls numbers, etc. he then told me that I’m being a bitch and not letting him have fun. I told him that I was fine with the beers but then he always changes it. I give him an inch , and he takes a mile. Two weeks ago he said he would be home at 10 pm and came in at 2 am. How would you guys feel? Am I overreacting? Keep in mind he works 6 days a week so we rarely get quality time. Should I just leave him alone?
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You did right by telling him how you feel. The rest is up to him. I’ve learned men learn best by example. You have him stay home with the baby one night and say you’ll be gone just a couple hours and come in late and see how he likes it. I’ve found it usually only takes one time for men to learn they can’t handle what they dish out 🙃
thank you! it’s so damn hard sometimes to know what’s right. I told him that he could go out for a couple more drinks, as long as he was back by 12. He agreed to that. It’s now 12:30 and there’s no sign of him 🤦♀️
Good job telling him how you fell, but I think it depends on the marriage. Mine is totally different.
I don't set curfews for my husband. I'm not his mother, and he's a grown adult. When the days come when he says he's going out with his boys and he won't be out late. I just say that's crazy and then turn to my daughter and say, "You hear that baby, we ain't gonna see Daddy until tomorrow." Then he laughs because he's knows I know him, and I'm right. But then, because I made the joke, he ends up checking in with me throughout the night and tries to come home, not crazy late. Either way, I don't care. He wants to go out, he can go out.
And if he does go out and stays out all night, he always spends the whole next day with us. And uhh, that's what works for us.
Ps. I don't micromanage him when he goes out because I know I would be annoyed as hell if it was reversed, and he kept bugging me while I was chilling with my friends. We just keep each other up to date on what we're doing.
I understand that totally. The thing is, I never go out with my friends. I have to take baby everywhere with me. He’s NEVER watched her alone. I haven’t gone out solo in 8 months. That’s why I’m frustrated
it’s so annoying because he calls and acts all sweet and “asks” if he can go to the club or whatever. however, he’s not really asking. as soon as I said I wasn’t comfortable with it, he flipped out. Why even bother calling
he put his friend on the phone who said “he’s a good Christian guy and he’ll keep him out of trouble and promises he will be home on time.” That to me was just another red flag. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone around that I could live with. Hardly any money because I just started working again. Fuck
exactly!! Him being Christian makes me feel worse! I was raised Christian and have seen how sick and twisted those people are! It’s unfortunate. Thanks for the advice 💖
Ohh wow. Yeah, I don't go out often because I'm just not that extroverted, go out person. But if I wanted to, my husband has no problem staying with the baby. He loves doing daddy daughter dates with just them.
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