EC vs Traditional

I looked into EC recently and found it cool that they learn to sign and tell you that they have to go! I have a 2 year old who doesn't speak yet and we have no experience with potty training. I think it would have been really helpful if she knew how to sign to me that she needs to go. Instead I just have to randomly guess. We are having a hard time getting into this whole potty training thing. :/

@Karina Thank you for sharing!! I’m wondering whether to start a bit later like around 3mo too, or trying right at birth. My husband doesn’t get it at all and is poo-pooing the whole idea of EC (pun intended haha) but I’m hopeful it’ll be great and worth it despite the naysayers 🙏🏻

@Jillian Aw thanks for sharing! And good luck when you do start trying. I’ve babysat for babies who knew a few signs and it was so incredibly helpful, and I’ll 100% be incorporating them into my daughter’s learning.

@Allie Yay that’s amazing, I’m so glad to hear that!!! Very encouraging too, appreciate you sharing with me

My husband was unsure at first, but willing to try it out. And within a couple weeks of starting he would always ask me why everyone doesn’t do ec. We started at 8 weeks, but mainly focused on poop catches and other easy catches (upon waking in the morning and naps) It was way easier than we expected! Around 6 months with solids (we did cloth diapers too) we got more serious about it and were catching 80% of poops in the toilet! We didn’t focus on pees in the potty (except for when they happened when randomly offering) We started actual potty training at 19 months and now at 23 months he is fully potty trained (aside from the random accidents here and there)!

We haven’t done any nighttime ec and won’t focus on nighttime potty training until he starts waking up dry more consistently. First with naps and then overnight. And as for regressions - none of our regressions during ec or now during potty training have lasted more than a couple days or up to a week. A regression right now looks like 3-4 pee accidents in a day verse his normal 0-1 accident in a day. I also have had experience potty training two boys I nannied and one was fairly easy around 2.5 years old, but the other was very very difficult and terrified of pooping in the toilet and still wasn’t pooping in the toilet at 3.25 when I stopped nannying (they moved 🙁) our son has never been afraid of the toilet! And has used the normal toilet a majority of the time! We only use a mini potty on car rides, vacations, and when he was really young!

@Kali Wow thanks so much for the thorough info and feedback! 💖 Hopefully my husband gets onboard that quickly, too. And that’s good to know about the regressions, I know I’m gonna start feeling defeated if that keeps happening but that’s not bad if they’re only lasting a short time. Happy for you that it’s working out so well and your comments as well as the others are helping me feel more empowered, thank you again!

@Allie Haha that sounds fun, I can’t wait for those kinds of reactions. Bc when I tell people about it now and that I want to try it, they look at me like I’m completely insane. It’ll be nice to have proof that it actually works 🥰

@Lily 😂 I totally know what you mean. The diaper industry has done such a great job normalizing diapers into our lives that if someone doesn’t follow that path, we’re suddenly crazy. So silly.

We did super casual EC. So we offered it from time to time starting around 4 months. Whenever we remember or it was easy and baby was happy to try and not distressed. We just really normalized potty use from the beginning she always came to the bathroom with us if she wanted to. Now at 20 months she decided on her own she was done with diapers. So we got her tiny potty and the learning process has been pretty fast and smooth. I’m glad we offered in a no pressure way and followed her cues on this

I think it is successful, I tried it with my son part time from 6 months until he was walking at around 15 months and then got rid of his diapers completely and then started getting him independently going potty, which yes is a longer process than it is with a two or three year old, but he has been much happier out of diapers in the day time. Starting to let him wear undies during naps now too and I’m really proud of him and happy to not be changing his diaper anymore. I lived in Asia for a few years and most people there don’t use diapers from the get go and most of their kids are potty trained by 1 year to 18 months, so how can a whole continent of people who have potty trained kids earlier be deemed less successful? Makes no sense to me that those doulas would say that. To do EC I read the book go diaper free by Andrea Olsen, was helpful to me to learn how to do it all, since I had no personal experience, and was particularly helpful when trouble shooting and ditching the diapers.

So my pediatrician actually recommends something that’s sort of modified elimination communication. I live in France for reference. She recommends talking about pee/poop/feelings of wetness as soon as they’re born and letting them see you use the bathroom, narrating it. That’s also how she talks about everything in our daily lives. Then once our toddler started hiding before pooping (13-15 months) we talked about the feeling of having to go, and reading books about pee and poop. He also has an anatomically correct doll that pees in a little potty he got at 1, and we introduced 2 potties around then, and started mentioning when we felt the urge and stopped what we were doing to use the toilet. He used the potty occasionally, we often offered during diaper changes (moved to bathroom at 6 months/standing). At 16 months he decided he wanted to use the big toilet for most poops (small potty seat, books about pooping on small shelf next to it) and we read to him while he goes.

At 20 months he still pees in his diaper, unless his pull up is already down or he’s naked. He’ll tell us “new diaper.” He can mop up a spill if he pees on the floor and runs to get the mop. The French see potty learning as a longer process of hygiene learning and education, “apprentissage.” We’re focusing on washing hands afterward at the moment. He needs more skills getting dressed/undressed before he’ll be able to do it himself, so we’re working on those skills too. I am not pushing him and letting him lead the pace, my job is just to notice his cues and set him up for feelings of success. We do a pee/poop cued noise as well as using the words, which my pediatrician wasn’t familiar with but fine with. We’re also neutral on diapers vs toilet but he knows mom and dad don’t use diapers. And we only use our toilet at home so far. He’ll sit on the one at my MIL’s but the one at baby group is “scary.” I have a feeling once he starts crèche he’ll like the tiny child-sized toilets there.

For reference, yesterday he peed in the potty twice, sat on the potty a bunch while wearing his diaper, sat on the toilet 3 times and pooped in there once, pooped in the bath 🤦🏻‍♀️, and filled 4 very wet pullups when he didn’t want to stop playing (in the morning while his beloved aunt was visiting), and we put him in a doubled up pull up at bedtime (they don’t make overnights here), asked to be changed into a dry one at 4:30 am. He also makes his dad use the bathroom before taking him on a walk, which is super funny because my husband is terrible at remembering that. The main way we justify taking the time is all the communication and autonomy, which are our main values anyway! We always overcommunicate anything we’re doing to his body, and invite him to participate, and he’s also great at washing his body, brushing his teeth, other care tasks. And for me, changing half the diapers and no poop diapers at all from 16 months is a HUGE win, even if he’s not fully “potty trained” yet.

I am still pregnant, and plan doing EC. But just for comparison. I have 2 sister, 1 did EC with her 3 kids, the other didn't with her 2. The EC kids were all perfectly diaper free by 18 months latest. The traditional potty trained ones more than a year later. If you just check the cost of that, you save about £800 on nappies per kid...

EC trains parents, not babies. The justification is in spending less money/time/laundry on diapering and it being better for the environment. I dont think the "potty training " element should be considered a major factor because as OP mentioned, it's not guaranteed and even works opposite for some children.

@Grace Thanks so much for sharing!! And yes, completely agree, if other countries are and have been doing it, it definitely seems logical and feasible. Andrea seems to have a lot do resources on her website too, so will check all that out in addition to her book 💖

@Kelly Aww interesting, thanks so much for sharing!!! And great that your pediatrician is cool with it. Excited to give it a go and see what works for us, so appreciate the different takes on what everyone does