How would you feel

I would feel a little salty and then I would ask what the reasoning is for, this is another example of why I don’t go through my husbands phone bc then I won’t eat for like a week after 😂 I can’t stomach it, it ruins my peace. I’ve had this happen on a few occasions and never got a clear answer until I told him, “what would you do if it was the other way around, how would you feel?” And then he came clean on what the reasoning was for. Sometimes men look up stupid stuff, and sometimes you can’t let it get the best of you.

this is definitely not the first time. The other times I’ve found porn and he explained he has an issue and so he’s done better but I just found that search today and it brought me back down. Ugh especially it being women who look completely opposite of me

I would feel really hurt, I know that finding that isn’t easy to stomach because it makes you question what does he really want? Ive been in your situation before and it broke my heart and made me not trust my partner.

It ruined the way I thought about myself as well but after some time I realized that I was ignoring all the other things that I love about my partner all because of some sexual fantasy. You and him need to have a conversation about it because if this isn’t the first time and it still bothers you, try not to blame him and yell at him about it. Try getting to the point where you say “ it’s you and me against the problem not you and I against each other” maybe you guys can come up with a system to help trust each other more.

I understand, my partner stated he had fantasies when I found it on his phone and it was about 6-7 times that this happened and eventually I told him that I don’t like to feel as if I’m not good enough and he wants something different. And eventually he ‘stopped’ and now we do therapy 😬 once and a while I’ll ask “are you being good?” Bc I literally cannot stomach to go through his phone anymore and hurt my own feelings and my mental health. It’s extremely difficult and people do have high sex drives or sexual desires or fantasies, and sometimes we will never get a 100% truthful answer to why they do what they do, but he should Atleast consider your feelings and how he would feel if it was the other way around and state that you will not tolerate it because you find it disrespectful/hurtful

well put! I ask my partner sometimes " how are you handling those extra curricular activities that we've talked about?" Lmaoo he always gets defensive because he says he hates feeling like shit for the pain he caused me.

Lmaooo, Yes my partner doesn’t like when I ask either but I just ask to keep my mind at ease and to let him know I didn’t forget, but more so just to build trust and let him know that I’m trusting him to not do it and not treat him as a child and go through his phone anymore etc, I know sometimes they can’t control their urges for things but it’s just self discipline