Incognito
Incognito
3 days ago

Scared of our future…

So getting pregnant has been far from easy for us, after 3 years of trying naturally, we needed IVF/ICSI… I’m 34 weeks pregnant with our son and starting to fear what our lives are going to look like in a short few weeks… Im starting to look at things and get really scared/anxious, silly things, like our evenings together as a couple and our dog, and knowing it’s all about to change. I’m scared of mourning the old me, our old life together! I’m scared of losing our couple relationship, the time to do things together as a couple. I don’t know, I’m so excited to be a mum, to be a family after all the trouble we had! But I can’t help but be feeling super anxious about what’s to come, and the way our lives are about to be changed! Is this normal to feel this way?😔
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2 days ago

I had these feelings quite early on... about 24 weeks (now 31). It was quite overwhelming, but I'm trying to learn not to pour from an empty cup for myself and for our marriage. You may enjoy listening to Bernita Bensch on Spotify or Apple Play. She has written a book on her fertility journey called "The Art of Trying," and her podcast is called ME+MOTHERHOOD. She has recently launched her business as a life and motherhood coach. She does retreats and one-on-one coaching. She often says that "You are enough, you will always be enough. Regardless of what you have or haven't done. Believe that you are worthy and work towards that goal." We also struggled to get pregnant after a year of trying, we found out I was miracously naturally pregnant but miscarried shortly after. We were devastated 💔. We decided to get some help and fortunately got pregnant on letrozole and forced ovulary release.

2 days ago

Also second the guilt... I still get that everytime I take time out for myself.. but you need to remember you need your emotional well-being to take care of baby

2 days ago

It's normal...my LO is almost 3 months and I did struggle with this initially... But the good thing is you are already aware that things will not be the same and rightly so but it doesn't mean that you won't be yourself or your relationship with your husband gets weaker ... Try and get some quality time now if possible and make time for each other once baby is here...it might be more difficult if you plan to exclusively breastfeed and baby goes everywhere with you .. we did a few 'date' nights with baby tagging along but it's also the little things..the cuddles and kisses..the check-ins with each other ..once he got a bit more regular sleep at night we started staying up a bit longer talking or watching something... Don't worry you'll find your new normal.. and All the best!!

3 days ago

I think it’s great that you’re already thinking this way and have that awareness because some people don’t realise until they’re in the thick of it and it’s a shock to their system. It’s definitely much harder once the baby comes and your lives change so much! Obviously for the better, but it doesn’t stop you missing what you once have….but then the guilt also kicks in for feeling that way! It’s so normal to feel the way you are though. My only advice is get your baby used to being cared for by others from a young age so if you do decide to go out when they’re a little older, they won’t be so phased about it. We learnt this the hard way! Also make sure you make some time for each other weekly so you don’t go from being a couple to just feeling like roomies… It’ll all work out though, just takes a bit more work! All the best for the birth of your baby boy 🩵

3 days ago

I absolutely understand and relate. My husband and I wanted to have this baby... tried for a long time and he finally arrived. Currently 31 weeks pregnant now. I'm so in love with my husband that sometimes I think that maybe we should have waited to have more time together, I don't want to lose what we have. Every time that I tell people that we'll still try to prioritize our love as well as the relationship with our son, everyone is always very discouraging saying that we'll lose any type of intimacy and things between us will change for worst. But I refuse to belive this. This son, like yours, is the result of this great connection and we'll do the best we can to carve time for us...

3 days ago

This is pretty normal! Life is definitely not the same once having children, but when they are born honestly you just change your ways for them. We were 3 years in fertility and luckily conceived on Clomid. Our daughter was the best thing in the world - yes the hardest 😂 but we didn’t change too much of what we did, we just limited the amount of time we spent out having food or drinks to suit her. When they are newborn it is so easy to do things as well they just lay there, but we have found things more difficult once our daughter turned 12/13 months when going out as she just won’t sit still 😂 Make the most of these next few weeks as a couple and enjoy each others company as you will have a noisy bundle of joy soon ❤️ xx

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