Any advice…
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I think the best thing you can do is talk to your partner and your family. Tell them what you need. If they haven't been through it before they probably don't know how isolating it can actually be. Since I've been pregnant I've felt a little guilty about not being as present and I could have when my friends or cousins were pregnant. But I really just didn't know how much of a toll it takes on you. Let them know.
Is there anything you know makes you happy? Mine seems silly but I LOVE the Chronicles of Narnia series, and reading in general, but I don't take the time to do it. This week I'm going to pick up the series and start reading it again, which gets me back into the habit of reading in general too. Also, I agree with talking to your partner and your family. I have one of the best extended families in the world, super close, once-a-week dinners with all of us, and even so, people don't often check in, besides my great-aunt who my husband and I live with. If they knew it would help you they would probably be more likely to do it. Not that you should have to ask, but I think people just don't think of it.
I would 100% talk to your doctor about this at your next prenatal appointment. Everyone talks about post partum depression, but with all the pregnancy hormones, there is also a risk of anxiety and depression during pregnancy. Your OB may be able to refer you to a psych doctor to help you. I would also talk to whatever family member you are closest to and confide in them what you are feeling and ask if they could check in on you a few times a week. Maybe even make a weekly or every other week coffee date or virtual date to meet them and just hang out. Then I would also talk to your boyfriend and explain how you are feeling and tell him how he can be more supportive. Oftentimes, men can be CLUELESS. Especially if this is your first child and it was unplanned.
Once the baby is born, highly recommend joining some sort of mom group or going to baby activities local to you. Our library does a babytime class once a week, they do stories then playtime. I started taking my daughter at 6 months, but others started sooner. I met several other moms going to that consistently and we started having playdates outside of the class and have become friends too.
I really appreciate you all for the advice. Im not sure how to fully use this app yet or if everyone will see this response without the @ but…. Thank you all so much for the encouragement and advice and I will definitely take all of it into consideration and apply it to my life. 🥹❤️
Do you have access to a therapist? I think it would be very healthy to talk to a professional about some of your feelings. They can also give you some good coping strategies.
Unfortunately, sometimes we need to communicate exactly what we need. If you let your partner and friends and family know you’re struggling and asked to be checked up on, you may be surprised in how they show up for you. Sometimes people don’t know they’re needed. I know if my friend told me this I would be on top of it.
I feel you there. I can say that expressing how you feel to him may be helpful. Some men have no clue until you mention it straight forward to them (I speak from experience here on this aspect). As far as friends go, I didn’t have many either when I was first pregnant, this app has helped a bit in finding people to connect to. Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat.