Feel like Iโm solo parenting
Iโm so sick of arguing with my husband over this.
My daughter is 11 weeks old, and my husband works Monday to Friday. I look after her all day every day, and on the weekends and some evenings he goes out cycling. I donโt mind this, he gets extremely ratty and stir crazy if he doesnโt go out, and it drives me mad.
Lately. My daughterโs sleep pattern is all over the place in terms of the second stretch. She tends to go for 6 hours, then has a feed, then either goes for another 4 hours, or starts to fuss at about 5:30 am. (I realise this first stretch is a dream, please believe me Iโm not complaining about that.
My husband starts work at 7 am from home, or leaves at 6 am if heโs going into the office.
This means that he comes home, feeds her once while Iโm in the shower, while I handle all of the other feeds/ settling her off at night. I rarely go back to sleep after as Iโm so wired. He also struggles to sleep once heโs awake, so when she fusses for her night feed, heโs up from around 4 am regardless of feeding her or not.
I see him for around 3 hours a day apart from weekends, and in that time I cook, he does the dishes and cleans the bottles. We then bath/wash LO, he feeds her, then we watch a film or show until her next feed at 9:30 pm.
He has gone up to bed early to try and get more sleep because he feels like heโs exhausted to the point of headaches. (I am too, but it seems like this isnโt as important because I donโt go to work. He acknowledges that itโs hard work looking after her all day, this isnโt the problem). I have stayed downstairs with her, because to me, disturbing a sleeping baby only to put her in a crib for 30 minutes after settling her again, to feed her and then have to restart the process is ridiculous when sheโs asleep already.
I feel like I do everything. I feed and settle her every time. When he canโt calm her down within 10 minutes he passes her back despite me having her all day and him not seeing her.
I love my daughter more than anything, and my husband is lovely, I swear. Itโs just a really tough time with her sleep, and Iโm struggling to cope. Iโm so, so tired. And he doesnโt seem to realise this, because he is. We have talked about this so many times, but it just turns into an argument. Please tell me this will pass?